Gift of Love Through Surrogacy

Lexa - Her Brothers - The Future

2011-02-09T07:32:00.001-08:00

FROM MYLA:
It's almost impossible to believe that Lexa is 9 months old. She is growing so fast: crawling around everywhere and just learning to stand up. Her first word is Mama and she tends to say it now only when she is tired or upset. When she first started saying "Mama" it was constant and all day long! Kinda funny :)
Back in December, Anthony and I began praying about our next surrogacy and how we are going to bring Lexa's brothers home. We have 2 frozen embryos at the clinic and we want to try and have them come home sometime while Lexa is 2 years old. It's been interesting, the surrogate interest that always seems to pop up as soon as we begin praying. There are several possibilities but we are continuing to pray for God's guidance for the woman He is preparing for this 2nd journey with us. I will most likely begin a new blog for that journey but I will be happy to add that site to this blog so that everyone can follow us there.

I haven't blogged much about Lexa because I'm feeling now that it's time to protect her privacy on the web. Those of you, who are close to us, can follow us on Facebook.

We have been more than blessed during this amazing journey with Shane and Jineen and are looking forward to seeing what the future holds for our little Lexa and her possible brothers!

What a Year Can Bring

2010-08-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
It's been over 3 months since Lexa was born and the time has flown by! Jineen came to visit us this past weekend and I had been imagining what her visit would be like since we left Nashville. It's the first time she has seen little Lexa since we left the hospital in May! I have missed her so much, as 3 months is longer than we'd gone all year without visiting each other. It was an amazing visit and it was so heartwarming for me to sit and watch Jineen with Lex :) What a pair they are gonna be! T-R-O-U-B-L-E! I was thinking back to what was going on this time last year and realized that Jineen had finished the belly shots and had just begun the progesterone injections in preparation for the embryo transfer that happened on Sept 1st. Amazing that we would inadvertently schedule her first visit at almost the exact same time that she was here last year having those tiny little embryos transferred. God is good. Lexa was so responsive to Jineen. She would laugh and smile at her; one night, as we ate dinner out, she was looking at Jineen out of the corner of her eyes (with her eyebrows scrunched) as if to say, "Hey, waaaiiit a minute here....I know you!". It was the cutest thing! We had a ball playing with her and reminiscing about the past year.

We went back to the clinic, where we had the procedures, to visit with the counselor, admin and OR nurse who worked with our case. It was very emotional for me to look at each of them going crazy over Lexa and I was thanking God for RMA and the way God uses each one of them at this clinic. What a blessing that we were directed to Dr. Scott and RMA. Wow. It's going to be so cool to see what the next year will hold. We truly believe that God has a bigger plan for this story than what we've been through up to this point. We are waiting for the doors that might open and ready to share this story with anyone who might need encouragement and hope.

Ant and I have already planned our visit back to Nashville in the fall and we are so excited for the Glover kids to meet our Lexa! There's gonna be a celebration for sure.

Six Weeks Post OP

2010-06-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
So I haven't written since the birth of Lexa...delivery went well with the c-section and it was emotional when Lexa was born for Myla and I because she is a little miracle, but totally a God filled experience. I have had no grief or loss after giving Lexa to her parents. I definitely went into this pregnancy with a totally different mindset than my babies. I knew she wasn't mine or meant to be with me. Still seems weird sometimes when I think I had a baby 6 weeks ago!
I had a few issues with not being on the right floor the first day after surgery so that was a bummer because I didn't get great attention right after delivery...luckily though the next night I got into a suite which was better and on the correct floor for my recovery. Had a few hormonal breakdowns....I realized even though I wasn't missing having a baby-I was missing having something or someone to love on. That was something I didn't expect...I had my husband sleep with me in the bed for awhile which was pretty funny because hospital beds are not very big! We had some friends and family come and visit and my kids got a kick out of seeing Lexa and playing with the hospital bed!:) Anyways...we said goodbye to Anthony and Myla a day early before we left the hospital. They left and went to W. Virginia to visit her family. That was emotional but exciting for them! They finally had their family!
I went home on May 17th and my 35th birthday was May 18th so that was interesting! I was glad to be home though and with my family and my babies! May 19th around 3 or 4 am I had gone to the bathroom and when I layed down I felt major pain just hit me! I sat up and it would not go away-I thought I had to either go to the bathroom or puke-I didn't do either and then for sure thought I was going to pass out! Shane woke up and I knew I had to go to the hospital! I'd never had one but all I kept thinking was it was a kidney stone! Long story short-it was and they said it was probably from pumping and being dehydrated and I had more kidney stones that would hopefully pass! Thank God I didn't have any more pain with that since, but that was worse than labor pain for sure! I thought I was going to die! Next I ended up with a bad cough and was miserable for the next week with that on top of dealing with my incision pain and uterus contracting and pumping for the next week! It was a bit overwhelming! I was able to get an antibiotic and finally began to feel better! My mom stayed with me that week and then I went it alone with my kids being really bored and wishing I was better already!
Since that first two weeks after, life has been a bit crazy-thought we might have to move and now looks like we are staying-but found out my baby sister who is about to have her first baby is moving far away from me-back to our hometown of Buffalo, NY. Yes-very depressing for me! She moves tomorrow! That has been hard and so we did a garage sale and then I threw her a baby shower and was helping her pack! I said I would've never been doing all this 5-6 weeks after having my babies but it's so different when you don't actually have a baby you are dealing with! Life goes on! My body has been overwhelmed and I've had a few emotional breakdowns but I'm getting there! Now my biggest hurdle is losing the weight-I gained more than I ever did with mine and I just want it off now because I have no clothes that fit me! Ugh-not fun...starting to exercise now that I am able and going to start dieting to get back to my normal size! Cannot wait to feel more myself again! It's been a long journey and not always easy but God has written this all into my story for a reason! I'm glad I was able to give a sweet amazing gift to a friend. I'm anxious to see what He has next for me and excited to see and hear about baby Lexa and all of the milestones ahead of her! Oh and Myla said that Lexa gets her fussiness from me but I have to say none of my babies were colicky-so not true!:) Thankful to God for bringing me through all of this and looking forward to the next thing ahead and being back to normal for my babies-they are getting so big so fast! I want to really enjoy every moment and not rush it away!

Beautiful Girl

2010-06-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
It's bee 5 weeks since little Lexa was born and she is changing every day. I can't believe how much her face has changed since we were in Nashville! Her little belly too...we've had weeks of colic/fussiness going on. Always seems to hit her at night and therefore no sleep can be had in the Papariello household. We've changed her formula 3 times and the one she is on now (Enfamil-Nutramigen) seemed to be working, but she's started with the fussiness last night again, so we'll see. Ugh. I told Jineen that she must get this fussiness from her! Hee Hee Hee. It sure does make me feel helpless when she's screaming and there's not much I can do. We try Mylicon, Gripe Water and the melting tablets; they all seem to work at times but not always, so that's a bit frustrating. I just pray we find the right formula so the little thing can rest comfortably. She's so peaceful and quite when she's not having gas pain. We have our 1 month appointment with our doctor tomorrow. I'm hoping he'll have the remedy.

Ant and I are holding up OK. We are a bit tired, but that is over-shadowed by falling deeper in love with our little princess every day. She is starting to really focus on us and smile so that makes our hearts melt! She's got the cutest toes and she stretches and spreads her toes out constantly! She's been doing that since the moment she was born :) We are wondering what color her eyes will end up being. Right now they are blue but we are pretty sure they will eventually be hazel or green.

I've had almost no time to blog or get on FaceBook, so I apologize to those of you who have been wanting an update on our angel. I just started working on birth announcements today!
All in all, we can't complain...we have a gorgeous little girl who seems very happy (other than gas) and I can't wait to see what God has planned for her. Our lives have just gotten 1000 percent better :)

Amazing Love

2010-05-20T19:09:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
"Amazing Love, How can it be..." Little Lexa is here and she is so beautiful! She is very healthy and is doing all the normal things that 8 day old babies do :) She has christened both her father and I already by peeing on us....hysterical. I thought my mom would die laughing both times it happend! It was pretty funny!
I'm still so amazed at how this entire thing has happened and how wonderful my dear friend Jineen is for helping us bring this precious gift to life. Just incredible.
I know that God is going to use Lexa in ways that we will never be able to imagine! I can't wait to be a part of this little miracle life!

She's Here!

2010-05-14T22:45:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Lexa is here! Exhausted and don't have much time to blog right now, but baby is beautiful and fine; Jineen is up and around already and the four of us are very happy that she is here safely.
More to come when we have time and SLEEP.

FLOOD AND PRAYER TIME

2010-05-09T17:45:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
As Myla said we weren't affected by the flood thank God, but so many in this area were! It's going to take a lot of rebuilding for many before things are back to "normal". So crazy how much it rained and took so much from people. So thankful for my church-The Journey Church who has and continues to serve others in the community and help people get back on their feet! Speaking of my church...my brother Jamie is the pastor and we helped plant this church almost five years ago! Today we had a very special Mother's Day service and he talked about the gift of life. It was so cool because Myla and Anthony were in the service this morning and it was Myla's first Mother's Day(4 days early) My brother brought Shane and I up to share some of our story and how we decided to carry this baby for Myla and Anthony. After we shared, he had them come up and prayed over all of us and baby Lexa...needless to say we were all in tears! It was so sweet!
Cannot believe we are only four days away! My feet and ankles are so swollen! I seriously feel like a balloon that needs to be popped!:) I don't remember ever wanting to be skinny this bad before! I am ready to detox and lose weight and get back to my "normal" routine with my kids and husband, but so excited and anxious to see Myla and Anthony and Lexa united together as a family! They are in for a whole new world and a whole new love that you can't explain until you have a baby! Can't wait!

Flood

2010-05-04T06:24:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

Many of you have been asking about Jineen and have been concerned about the flooding that has been going on in Nashville and surrounding areas. Jineen is probably going to be able to expound on this better that I can, but I will tell you that Jineen and her family are fine and they did not personally experience any water damage. Their little town of Franklin, however, was flooded. I'm not sure how badly damaged it is at this point but I'm praying it hasn't devastated downtown. It is the cutest area and has so many great stores; I'm hoping they were spared.

Nashville was hit pretty hard. The Cumberland River crested all the way up to 3rd Ave. There are pics at:

http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Avis=DN&Dato=20100503&Kategori=NEWS01&Lopenr=5030808&Ref=PH&GID=jBwNWdHwuZ3/mzubMEbF3K6IXn2BqKDEy0+AcWd6eek%3D

(Just copy and paste this link into your browser)

The Opryland Hotel was extremely damaged and the pictures are crazy! 15 to 19 feet of water in the portico area. The last death count on the news is 30 people in the Nashville area, mostly elderly people, which I think is incredibly sad.

There are 3 hospitals in the area and 2 experienced water damage. Fortunately, the 1 where we will be delivering was not effected by the flooding at all! :) Jineen was even able to get to her OBGYN appointment yesterday and that office is downtown. We are blessed that we won't have to worry about that process being altered next week for Lexa's delivery.

Jineen can expound on the flooding and rain if she wants to; I do know that her brother Jamie and many others from their church have been out helping families in need this week. Please pray for them and this area that has been so abruptly destroyed by high waters. It will be a long process of clean up and restoration.

TOOTH

2010-04-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
So I had to get my tooth pulled yesterday-fun times! Actually it wasn't that bad and thank God I'm not feeling much pain today either! So relieved I don't have to deal with that pain when recovering from a c-section! I kept imagining myself in the hospital in pain from my tooth-thinking crap I should have dealt with this! Sweet relief!
So one more doctor appointment on Monday and then the big day! I am anxious! I've been resting a lot and laying outside in the beautiful 70/80 degree weather! Ready to feel "lighter"!:) It's cool that Myla will have her first Mother's day 4 days before Lexa will be here! I love God's timing. Trying to be patient in it...

COUNTING DOWN

2010-04-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
Well the countdown has definitely begun. 2 weeks from tomorrow I am scheduled to have a c-section. I am ready. Very ready! My body is overloaded!:)
I enjoyed a really great shower my friends did for me last week. So nice to have friends that support you and encourage you in this. I am so thankful for that! I wouldn't have been able to do it without the encouragement I've received!
Hard to believe the big day is almost here!
I will be having to get a tooth pulled tomorrow so that's exciting!:/ I have had pain though and it will be relieved so that is a blessing! I don't want to deal with anything else while in the hospital! Should be interesting to be attending my oldest daughters musical tomorrow night-taking pain meds that make you sleepy! Hope I'm not asleep through it!
I go to my last doctor appointment on Monday and then will enjoy Mother's Day weekend with my family. Ready to give this gift of life and excited to move on to the next thing God has for me. Oh and I'm really ready to be skinny again!!:) Til then I will be counting down...

Precious Cupcake Ladies

2010-04-27T11:15:00.001-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Last week, while I was visiting Jineen, we decided to run downtown to look for this little cupcake place that I had found on line. It's in downtown Franklin and it's called "Ivey Cakes".

When we walked in we were mesmerized by the yummy cupcake flavors and the eye-catching icing piled on top of every one! Chocolate with chocolate ganache, peanut butter and chocolate, coconut dream, strawberry cake with strawberry icing (my fav) and many more! Sinful. When you bite into these heavenly desserts they literally fall apart in your hand because they are so moist! It is the perfect cake. We decided to buy a dozen so the kids would have several to choose from after dinner.

The lady at the counter was so sweet and was explaining to us how Ivey makes all of her cupcakes from scratch and how young and energetic she is! Another customer walked up as we were choosing our flavors and she said, "Wow, who buys a dozen Ivey Cupcakes!" I told her that 12 cupcakes weren't nearly enough to repay Jineen for what she was doing for me...and we began to share our story. Both ladies were in tears right away! It was such a precious moment for Jineen and I. Rarely do we get to tell our story, together. The customer told us that she had adopted 2 little girls and that she understood the pain of not being able to carry your own baby. It was a very tender and special moment...all over a dozen gorgeous cupcakes! It just reminded us of how special this journey truly is; how blessed we are that He chose us to travel this road and how God is still using our journey to touch the lives of people who hear about it. It's just beautiful.

I would kill for one of those cupcakes right now.
www.iveycake.com

TN Shower for Jineen

2010-04-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

What a great weekend we've had! Jennifer threw the most beautiful shower for Jineen and it was so sweet to hear the words of encouragement and advice from the ladies who came to party with us! I am so blown away by the support system that Jineen has around her. I want to thank all of you for paying attention to her needs and being there for her and her family. Those of you who have cooked meals for them and are taking care of house cleaning and lawn work...wow...THANK YOU! I've attached a few pictures from the party for everyone to see. "Thanks again, Jen and Roxy!"

Jineen seemed to be feeling much better the past few days. I went down a few days early to cook for her family and hang out with them. It was a wonderful couple of days and I was in need of some 'girl time' with Jineen. I hadn't seen her since the Baby Shower in WV back in February! One morning Jineen was resting and she said, "Oh, feel right here, the baby is kicking or something". After a few moments of very consistent belly jumping I realized that the baby had the hiccups! It was so cute! They lasted a couple of minutes and we giggled watching her jump. You could literally see her head move and also the area, where her feet are, was also jumping. It was adorable! We had a little scare on Saturday when Jineen was having pain that she wasn't sure was labor pain or maybe something else. Luckily, it was not labor pain and all is fine! Keep praying that this little one doesn't decide she want's to come out on her own before we can get back down there!

So now it is crunch time for Ant and I. We have only 2 weeks before we travel to TN and we have lots to do before then. Ant is getting very nervous but also excited. I just can't wait to see her little face and start the next stage of our journey with Lexa physically in our lives! It's going to be a great year!!!

HEALING

2010-04-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: Thank you Lord that I'm feeling better-not completely healed, but the pain has been relieved. I went on bed rest for 3 days and that has made a big difference! I'm hoping it doesn't get bad again...3 and a half weeks to go! My tooth pain is hopefully holding off too! Thank you Jesus! Looking forward to a shower this weekend and having a fun time with people that I love! Thank you for your prayers!

PAIN

2010-04-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
So seriously could I deal with any more pain? Fortunately the tooth pain has kind of subsided at this point and I'm hoping to be able to delay that issue. At this point I am having a whole different pain issue that is a little much to mention on the blog. However it's so bad, it's looking like the only way to deal with it is through surgery. I have never experienced it before in my other pregnancies but for some reason it won't go away on it's own. Please pray that somehow it does and we can enjoy the next 4 weeks! Some girls are doing a shower for me next weekend and Myla will be in town. I'm really hoping to be able to be "comfortable" and enjoy time with my friends. At this point all I can do is lay in bed to be comfortable. The devil is really attacking and I'm over it! Lord please take over and heal this quickly!

The Good Ol' Tooth Doctor

2010-04-13T06:41:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Well it looks like Jineen is gonna have to have a tooth pulled. Ok, YUCK when you're not pregnant and DOUBLE YUCK when you are 35 weeks pregnant and about to give birth!
The dentist won't pull it because of the pregnancy, so he is sending Jineen to the Oral Surgeon. Yesterday was filled with the anxiety of figuring out what anesthesia they use for pregnant patients and then what pain killers are used after the surgery. I'm felling so burden and overwhelmed with everything right now. Can't everything just go smoothly for 4 weeks. SERIOUSLY. Please pray for Jineen through this because this really stinks for her.

Down To The Wire

2010-04-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Well it's down to the wire and we are experiencing several attacks. Ive literally been sick with Sinus infections, sore throats and chest colds since November. I have severe bronchitis right now and feel like I'm smothering. Jineen is dealing with some uncomfortable issues, with the pregnancy, and last night her tooth starting hurting her :( When we did research online for Novocaine during pregnancy, it said you should never have Novocaine because it slows your breathing therefore not allowing the baby to get enough oxygen to live! Hello! So now we are praying that this tooth pain will go away and not be anything that needs dental work right now. All of these ailments definitely steal away some of the joy that we'd like to be focused on, and keeps us from getting things done for the arrival of our precious Lexa. Please pray with us that all of this will stop; Pray for Jineen's ailments to end and for the last 4 weeks to be comfortable and exciting for her.
We'll keep you posted.

Baby Lexa is 4.25 Pounds :)

2010-04-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

We had our appointment with the OBGYN yesterday. She told us that Jineen is measuring normal and the baby should be around 4.25 pounds this week! So little. I'm looking forward to seeing how much weight she will gain before she is born. Anthony was a preemie and I was close to 7 pounds so it will be interesting to see. I always love hearing her heart beating. It never fails to amaze me.
I can't believe she will be here in 5 weeks! Yippy!!!!

THE WAITING GAME

2010-04-02T08:34:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: So now we play the waiting game for delivery. Today it's 5 weeks and 5 days til d-day! Hard to believe it's almost coming to an end for me and just the beginning for Myla and Anthony!
Looking back it has really gone pretty fast! I'm anxious to see if we will stay on schedule or if Lexa will decide she wants to see her Mama and Daddy a bit sooner!
I am feeling pretty good-mostly back pain and swollen feet and ankles and some trouble sleeping. Pretty much the normal stuff.
We were laughing about the joys of pregnancy like me not having bladder control when I'm laughing. That's been pretty funny! Shane and I were talking one night and we started laughing and I was sitting on the bed...yep I peed on the bed-whoops! That was hilarious...I've learned to make sure I empty my bladder more often! Fun times! Won't be long now!

Lexa's Growth Progression

2010-03-31T08:58:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Throughout the entire pregnancy, I have been reading through a "Pregnancy Journal" and following the growth of our baby girl. Jineen has the same journal, so it has been cool talking about what we have read. Lexa's little body is putting on the pounds over the next 6 weeks and depositing fat beneath the skins fine translucent surface. She is also opening her eyes when she is awake and closing them when she sleeps, which I think is just amazing. Her little fingernails will be grown to the end of her fingertips by Sunday; precious! I wonder if she'll have them painted pink in preparation for her big trip into life? If she takes after me, she is a pre-planner and will have them painted the day before her arrival. HA! :)
It's so crazy to think that the baby is almost here and we are planning our trip to bring her home! This will be a vacation that we will never forget. Truly Blessed.

Precious Day ~ May 13th, 2010

2010-03-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Jineen had her OBGYN appointment last Monday and I got to hear our doctor tell us that the C-Section has been scheduled for May 13th! Such an exciting and nerve racking feeling came over me. Finally a date that this will come to life for us; the date of reality for Anthony and I. I'm sure we are going to be a big ball of mush that afternoon. I try so hard to imagine what this is going to feel like but I know that I probably don't have a clue! Hey, nothing like realism :). I do know myself well enough to know that I will be crying for several days...every time I look at her, hold her, see my husband holding her and loving on her. Then there's the whole Shane/Jineen side of it! I'll also be balling when I see Shane and Jineen holding the baby and loving on her. I'll probably start balling every time I walk into Jineen's room and see her laying there recovering from surgery...all for us. And 'forget about' the day we have to leave the hospital and say good bye to Shane and Jineen...I'll be a wreck!!! I already know the overwhelming feelings of gratitude and love for them will be all over my face and the feelings of having to leave them behind and taking with us this new bundle of joy...that makes me tear up every single time I think about it. It will break my heart. Although I know God intended this story to be and that it will just be the beginning...it will be virtually impossible for me to not have feelings of heartbreak as we leave this chapter of this amazing God Journey and move into the next. It's a comfortable spot to be right now, waiting on Lexa's arrival and getting everything ready for her to come home. I feel like it's a dream and can't be a real event. My heart is over-flowing with happiness and love for her already as well as for Jineen and her selfless gift of life. I'll be eternally grateful. I've already requested that our mansions in Heaven be right next door to each other! :) We are eternally bound in an unexplainable love and friendship that can never be touched or destroyed. God has literally shown us Himself through this journey and it has been miraculous, to say the least. All that to say that I'm trying to prepare myself for this upcoming new venture and the steps we are about to go through to get there, and, well, I'm "ill Prepared" for sure! I know God will see us all through this and probably ease us through it more than we expect, but it's so hard to imagine.
On a funny note, Jineen and I were talking the other night about how funny it would be if we could take another one of those "Irish Setter" pictures now, with her being 7 months pregnant! I told her we could take a picture of her sitting down rolling her eyes at me as I do it right beside her! Even funnier will be when Lexa starts doing it too! Why in the world we started doing that crazy move in the first place....I have no idea, but the fun of it has come back 2-fold! I think I used to do it as a kid when I saw Mary Poppins do it and I loved it!!! Why did we name it the Irish Setter? You tell me. If you have no idea what I am talking about...scroll to the bottom of this blog and look at the picture, from college, of the 2 of us jumping up in the air. That's the "Irish Setter".

Jineen told me today that she feels like Lexa is already doing it! That's my active little girl :) Hey Jineen..."This is so much fun!"

DELIVERY DAY

2010-03-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: So we have the date set today that I will have a c-section on May 13th at 12:30. The only way I guess that would change would be if my body does something on it's own before. Wow...hard to believe it's almost here. Looking back it has gone pretty fast. The next 7 weeks will probably feel like the longest as usual.
I am definitely feeling it BIG TIME! Back hurts, feet hurt, sides hurt, heartburn all the time, out of breath, swollen ankles-feeling enormous! I am definitely bigger with this baby than any of my own. I'm sure age has to do with that and lack of activity, and being exhausted and having 3 children to raise etc...I keep justifying my weight with the shots I had to do in the beginning and my hypothyroidism I never had with my other kids pregnancies. I sure hope I can lose the weight quick though. I'm really hating feeling my thighs touch! My thighs don't usually touch and they are! It's driving me crazy! :) Oh the joys of weight gain! Anyways...my baby is turning 6 tomorrow....would never have imagined I'd be pregnant with someone elses baby when my baby was having her 6th birthday! Pretty crazy! I can't believe she will be that old-it really does go way too fast! I will be reminding Myla of that! You do blink and they have grown so big!!!
I'm looking forward to feeling the relief of being able to breathe again and do some more normal activities with my kids. I guess we will be swimming a lot this summer for exercise! I will probably be living in sundresses as you can imagine I'm not looking forward to swimsuit season-even though I am ready to be tan! So glad the weather is getting nicer and that we will be seeing this baby united with her parents very soon!(Oh and a neat thing is that Lexa will be born on my great grandma's birthday-she was a precious lady!) Looking forward to it!

Lexa's Bathroom is Complete

2010-03-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
I finally got the bathroom completed and finished sewing the valence that I wanted to go above Lexa's shower curtain. I tend to think standard shower curtains are too short...especially if you have high ceilings. So When I hung this adorable shower curtain, the gap between it and the ceiling seemed enormous to me! I ordered some gingham print material and sewed a valence, to cover the gap, last night. Now it looks like a little picture window; it's so cute! I hope she loves it :)

THOUGHTS

2010-03-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: So I was thinking how strange it would be to be going through this journey of surrogacy with someone I didn't know. I told Myla I would hate to wonder, "gee I hope I didn't give birth to a serial killer or something!" So glad to know that this baby I will help give life to is going to be raised to love Jesus!
Hard to believe it's only 8 weeks away! Of course everyone is still speculating about how I'm going to react to it all. I said I may have to get a puppy to have something little to snuggle up with! God will give me extra grace I know since He called me to do this! I am not worried. I'm sure I will have lots more to write after going through all of this!

Lexa's Nursery

2010-03-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Many of you have been asking me to post pictures of Lexa's Nursery. I don't have it totally finished yet (still need to complete the wall decor), so I haven't taken too many pictures yet. I've posted a picture of the crib and I'll post more when it is finished. :) So exciting!

3rd Trimester - 30 Weeks and Counting

2010-03-10T08:22:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

It's hard for me to believe that we are already 30 weeks pregnant. It seems like we just did the transfer a month ago and were worried sick about the initial hurdles we had to get over with baby Lexa. What a blessing it has been to get through the last couple of months without worry. I feel like we are coasting along at this point, just waiting on the week of May 10th to arrive.

Jineen is feeling tired. She told me that she is started to feel the typical 3rd trimester symptoms of difficulty breathing, being exhausted and not wanting to move around so much. I'm sure with 3 active kids that this is a real struggle for her and I pray every night that God will give her supernatural '3rd trimester' strength until the baby comes! :)
The baby shower in NJ was really awesome. My mother-in-law did a great job and everything was beautiful! I was amazed at the number of people who attended, especially those I'd never met before! What a lovely afternoon it was and Lexa was spoiled rotten with more gifts than she will even know what to do with! It was a very special day. We have 1 more shower in April that will be held in TN. This one will be focused more on Jineen and showering her with love for being such a selfless and giving person. Several of our college friends will be there, so that is always a good time! My trip to TN for that shower will be the last trip I make before the baby is born. I feel like it's been forever since I've been down there already, so I know by the time April gets here I will be dying to get on the plane! Once I return from that trip it will only be 2 weeks until I get to hold my beautiful little girl. I can't even imagine, but I'm very excited!!! Her room is almost ready, just have to put the finishing touches on the walls at this point. We also still have to baby-proof the house and get the gates up on our staircase. The house is looking more like a baby lives there and it's crazy! I was in the living room last night, looking at the adorable baby jumper hanging in the doorway and it was just surreal to me. I don't think I have any idea how our lives are about to change, but I am very exciting and so ready for the next step in our ever-changing lives. I couldn't love my husband more and I can't wait to see him loving on his baby girl. That alone will change everything :)

Just a Few More Days Till Baby Shower #2

2010-03-03T12:55:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

Only a few more days until Baby Shower #2. This one will be in NJ. I'm so excited to see everyone. These 2 showers have been more about re-connecting with friends and family for me, because they have all been so supportive through this entire process. My college buddy, Victoria, is flying in from SC and another college roomie (who lives in Staten Island) Jessica is coming. And my sweet friend 'K', (who initially offered to be a surrogate for Anthony and I), will also be there.
My head will also be spinning from all the new friends and family members (on Anthony's side) that I have never met before! It's going to be very special!
Now, if I could just kick this pesky sinus infection :/

7 mths Pregnant

2010-02-24T11:08:00.000-08:00

FROM JINEEN: As Myla said, we had a good time at her first baby shower. It was fun getting to meet her family and friends and see how excited they all are for baby Lexa to arrive!
I'm starting my 7th month being pregnant...definitely getting more uncomfortable and having a harder time sleeping. It's fun to see how much Lexa is moving around inside my growing belly. My kids are getting a kick out of that. I'm interested to see how they will do as we give this baby away to her parents. I actually think my son will have the biggest adjustment. I asked him the other night how he will be and then he said he wanted me to have another baby. I told him we are gonna have his Aunt Joy's baby to love on-my sister who is due three months after me. He was glad about that and is hoping she is going to have a boy. I've actually thought about getting a puppy too! We will see about that-not sure if I want to endure all of that work!
Myla and I were discussing the blog and I said I hadn't written as much because I wasn't sure what else to talk about. I'm sure I will have lots more to write after.
Everyone is concerned about how I will be emotionally but I know God doesn't call you to something without preparing you and giving you extra grace. I am hoping that the hospital stay will give me time to visit with Lexa and see her bonding with her mother and father and feel the joy I know I will feel about carrying her for 8 mths. and then giving her to her parents. I'm sure it will be a strange feeling to go home after a few days in the hospital and ask myself...wow did I just really do that? Needless to say I'm sure there will be a range of emotion but I will know that this little miracle is all in God's perfect plan for Anthony, Myla and Lexa. Looking forward to giving this gift and seeing how this little life flourishes!

Last Weeks Ultrasound and trip to WV

2010-02-23T11:22:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

It's always good to be home after a long time away, but leaving TN is always bitter/sweet. Leaving our precious daughter behind is always hard for me. However, it's reassuring to know that she is with a dear friend who is taking such wonderful care of her!

Our ultrasound last week wasn't much to write home about. Lexa was hiding in the placenta again and we barely got a side shot of her little face. I posted a few of the pics anyway. She certainly loves to jump around alot, especially when Jineen lays down to relax at the end of the day! My last night there, I was watching Jineen's belly and it would drop all of a sudden. It literally looked like the baby was jumping straight up and down! We got a kick out of it because the movement was so dramatic. I wonder if that means she is going to be a 'drama queen'? Boy is Anthony in trouble :)

Jineen and I met with the hospital Social Worker who gave us a tour of the hospital and explained to us how the day of delivery will go. It was very exciting. I got teary-eyed when we walked through the maternity floors. They have the most adorable pictures of babies all over the walls; they have a professional photographer who has a studio right there on the floor, so those pics were just the best. Then we went to the nursery and they brought in a newborn at the same moment. He was so cute! He still had remnants of blood on him and he was crying like crazy. As soon as they put his little diaper on him, he stopped crying instantly. I thought was pretty amazing. The proud daddy was smiling at us through the nursery window. It was quite a moment. I was imagining Anthony and I when we will be standing in that same spot smiling and crying with joy as the nurse tends to our little baby girl. It's going to be a day of miracles. We were told several months ago that only 1 person would be allowed to go into the OR with Jineen for the C-Section, so we'd decided I would go with her. But we found out that the hospital has created a viewing window for surrogate situations, so the dad's can be involved as well. We were happy to hear that and laughing a little trying to imagine looking up at them and waving. :) They will look like 2 little boys, watching helplessly from a distant window, as the baby is born. Makes me smile just thinking about it. The doctor has to approve it, so we are hoping she won't mind and will allow them to watch.

Jineen and I had a great trip to WV for the baby shower. 'Thanks' to all of you who prayed for warm weather because it worked. We had the most beautiful drive there and back. The actual day of the shower it was warm and sunny...just perfect. It was so cool to see some of my friends from high school as well as my family. The most touching moment for me was hearing my parents thank Jineen for giving them a grandchild. I guess I never realized the hurt they have been going through as well, from a grandparent perspective. Jineen's oldest daughter came with us and her little speech to Jineen was the cutest! Through tears, she told the room how amazing her mother is for doing this for me...it was sweet. I really wanted the day to be more like a celebration and I think that is exactly what it was. We did get some of the cutest clothes and gifts I've ever seen! I washed 4 loads of baby clothes when I got home yesterday.

The baby furniture was delivered while I was away, so it was very exciting to see the room transformed. I can't wait to get it completely decorated and ready for little Lexa's arrival home.

Heading to TN

2010-02-09T07:25:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

I'm getting very anxious for my trip to TN next week. Jineen and I have so much to do when I get there. We will be picking up the court ordered/Pre-Birth Order, which is the document that allows our last name to be put on the baby's birth certificate and also allows us to stay in the hospital with the baby; We are going to be meeting with the birth planner at the hospital and she is going to give us a tour,show us the rooms we will be staying in, and helping us to work out the details of our situation so we'll know exactly what to do when we get there for delivery; We are also going to have another ultrasound so we can see little Lexa again! I'm hoping we will be able to get a really clear picture this time around.

Then Jineen and I will be traveling to WV for the first Baby Shower. I'm so excited to see all of my friends and family again! It's going to be such a fun time! I'm praying that we will have a nice long warm streak blow through TN/WV so that everyone will be able to make it in for the Shower! These blizzards have GOT to Go!

First Vivid Baby Dream

2010-02-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

I had my first vivid dream about our baby girl this week. It was so detailed and very real. It was our first couple of weeks with her and it covered everything from diaper changes to feeding to sleeping patterns; basically it was Ant and I figuring out our routine with her. It was such an active dream and usually, when I have those, I wake up exhausted...but this time I felt more rested than I've felt in a very long time. It was a feeling of strange peace and contentment. I know the first month is going to be a very special bonding time for our little family of 3. I'm looking forward to the down time with my husband (whom I never get to see right now) and the special time we are going to be sharing together. There is something so incredible that goes on when alone time is spent with your spouse, focusing on your relationship and your children. I am so excited to finally have that in our relationship and our future.

Female Health after Fertility Treatments

2010-01-31T19:32:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

I haven't shared this part of my story with many people, but it's very much been a part of my fertility journey and so I decided it would be good to share it.

Last March, I had an abnormal PAP result which prompted my doctor to order a colposcopy to be done. This is not the most pleasant test in the world, as they numb the cervix and then biopsy for a thicker sample of tissue, looking for confirmation of cancer cells. The test results still came back with abnormal cells and that began a 10 month process of PAPs and colposcopies. Last month the result of the last colposcopy was normal and there were no signs of abnormal cells. Praise God. It's been a very heavy burden of pressure and worry on Anthony & I along with this surrogacy journey we are currently on. We are so thankful that this burden has been lifted and we are praying that I will continue to get normal test results from here on out.

Although we have tried to focus only on the positives along this road, I wanted to share this with the women who are reading our blog because it was very interesting to me that I'd never had an abnormal PAP in my life...until after all the fertility treatments and surgeries. I have no idea if they were connected in any way, but I can't help but wonder. If you read warnings on all the hormones and steroids they pump into your body during fertility, they all have warnings of cancer related illness and no doctors seem to think there is much validity in them (i.e. it's rare). That being said, it's the same warnings that are on birth control pills and the hormone estrogen (which many women take after menopause), so maybe the warning isn't that big of a deal, but I do wonder. I thought about it every time I had to swallow a pill or get an injection. Then, when it was all said and done, I began losing the fertility weight and focusing on my health again and that's when the cell changes popped up. Just seemed a little coincidental, but I will throw a disclaimer in here that over the 2 years of loss, we were in the 'less than 1%' on many occasions, so maybe I was the 'RARE' case. I'm so thankful that things are back to normal and that God has given us this precious baby girl and 2 little frozen embryos (boys) for the future. I'm hoping the heaviness of health worry is beginning to lift and we'll be able to focus on all the 'new worries' of becoming new parents!

Longing To Feel Her

2010-01-26T08:50:00.001-08:00

FROM MYLA:
The past 2 weeks I've started writing a journal for my daughter. I want to give it to her when she is older and has kids of her own. I want her to know everything I was feeling during this time of separation from her. I think about her every minute of the day and I long to know that she is ok, I long to feel her kicking or moving, or...anything. I try to imagine what that might feel like but I have a very difficult time comprehending it. I read about her development and what is happening in her little body, every night, in my pregnancy book. She can hear voices and noises now. I dream about having her here with Ant & I now and how cool it would be to be able to talk to her so she would know her mommy & daddy's voices; I think about surrounding her with music and singing, so she would be familiar with the love that we have for music. I wonder if our dogs barking will alarm her when she gets home because she's never heard them barking in the womb. All questions a first time mom has, I guess. I want to talk to her, hold my belly, tell her I love her, sing to her...all the things I would do if she were here with us. It's a void that can not be filled and a struggle I have on a daily basis. I've never been in this place before; a place of having overwhelming gratefulness/gratitude for a friend who is carrying my baby and also be dealing with sadness and worry all at the same time.

I called into my first Intended Parent conference call last night and it was so incredibly good for me to hear the concerns that other IPs are having about their first babies. Some of the stories made me feel incredibly blessed in my situation; some of the stories gave me more to worry about and some of the stories we've already encountered and have gotten beyond. It was validation that my thoughts, prayers, concerns, worries, desires and dreams about my first child are real and normal. Valid. It made me realize how 'left out' I am feeling and how out of control I am of this situation. No matter who is carrying her (friend or stranger), I think I would feel this way. After the teleconference last night, it seems like all IP moms feel this way. All of them had never met their Surrogates before the approval appointments and they were discussing how to walk the fine line of how to contact their carrier (call, email, texting). Believe it or not, some Carriers complain that the IP isn't contacting them enough and some complain that it's too much. Some IPs want the carrier to journal the pregnancy so she will have something to read about the daily activity of her baby...and the carrier won't agree to journal! One IP mom feels like the carrier wants the money but doesn't want to take the time to do the very special things that this first time mom really needs and desires. She has forgotten that the IP mom has needs too. I was thinking to myself that she has also forgotten the financial struggle that it is on the IPs to be doing this! Every dollar matters and you, as an IP, would go bankrupt to make sure your baby and your carrier have everything they need, no matter the cost. it started to become obvious to me that every situation is different, depending on the people involved. I began considering my situation. I'm lucky because I know Jineen won't mind if I call or text and she will answer my questions. She would never ask me for money because I know we've gone above and beyond in the financial aspect, of making sure all of the baby and carrier needs are met. I began to realize that the pressure I feel is because I haven't allowed my feelings to be valid or important and I am extra cautious about how much I question Jineen, because I don't want to step over the line or annoy her {hormones :)}. I REALLY don't want to do that, so I rob myself of the answers, I might be so curious to know, because I want to be respectful. It's definitely a difficult situation to be in, whether you know your carrier or not. Having a child through surrogacy takes patience, understanding and a good balance of communication. It's a football game that needs a team, like the Colts or the Saints, in order to get to the Superbowl of babies!!! It's hard work, that's for sure! I know that in the end, our precious little girl is SO worth it! :)

I was sharing my experience with a co-worker of mine today. She has children and she was laughing as she tried to remember what it was like to be pregnant for the first time. She said it's very difficult to remember what it was like to be a first time mom, expecting your first baby and how everything is magnified and you are extra cautious and curious. That is definitely me! I wonder and worry about our baby girl every day. I pray many times a day that she is developing perfectly and that God is protecting her. I pray that she will stay in that womb (full term) until it's time for her to make her big debut. I try not to feel bad or guilty about all of these crazy feelings and thoughts that I have, but I do feel that way sometimes, so I try to pray that away.

Our priority now has switched from the possibility of having a child to the reality of our precious baby girl arriving in 3 1/2 months! I know her life is going to be such a blessing and Anthony & I can't wait to teach her the things in life that are so valuable to us in our relationship. It will be the richest blessing of our marriage. We are richly and supernaturally blessed. :)

BABY SHOWERS BABY SHOWERS!!!!

2010-01-21T10:20:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
Getting ready for 3 different baby showers can be exhausting!!!! For the next 3 months, we have a baby shower in 3 different states: WV, NJ and TN. Just trying to get the guests lists done for each has been a chore for me! I am so excited to see all of my old friends that I haven't seen in years...some of them in 20+ years! It's going to be so fun for me to see everyone again. I've been shocked at the number of old high school buddies who have gotten so into our story and blog! It makes me feel like time has been standing still for 20 years :) This is going to be so much fun! I can't wait to see you all again and celebrate this amazing journey with you all.

Jineen is going to try and come to the shower in WV and I'm so excited about that! Most of my family have never met Jineen, so this is an opportunity for them to pour their love and appreciation on her for the first time! I hope she's ready!!!

Many of you have asked where we are registered so I'll list the place below. The invites have several different arrangements of these sites but here is the list in full:
www.babyearth.com
www.potterybarnkids.com
www.buybuybaby.com
www.babiesrus.com
www.target.com

The shower in TN is going to be more of a 'Shower of Love' for Jineen; a way to pamper and thank her for all she is enduring during this selfless gift of life she is gifting to us.

We can't wait to see you all again over the next 3 months!

THE CLOSER WE GET

2010-01-18T10:50:00.000-08:00

FROM JINEEN: It's interesting the other side of this whole process being the surrogate and being the one carrying a baby that isn't yours-especially when I've already gone through my own pregnancies three times and pretty much know what to expect. The reality of how your body feels is that it's exhausting emotionally and physically and definitely beginning to get uncomfortable. It's definitely different than all my other three experiences in that it's hard to not feel like your body is your own-like you are being rented out to someone for a year. There is a lot that comes with that. Trying to communicate what's going on inside you and feeling like you need to answer for everything you do and decision you make. You want to be open yet you feel like you are being questioned a lot of times on how your doing things. I've learned that it's out of concern and worry-that Myla and Anthony feel that. It's sometimes a helpless feeling though. I know in the end, giving this gift will be worth the difficult times and seeing Myla and Anthony finally hold their baby will be amazing.
Ever since we started this journey I have had a total peace about the health of this baby. I know God would not take me on this journey to allow something bad to happen. I believe with everything Myla and Anthony have gone through, God is anxious to give them this gift! It's hard for them to feel this as much because of all of their losses but I feel this to my core and have no doubts. That is why I don't ever feel worry I think. Although, I'm not a worrier anyways, but even more so because I have such faith throughout this all. I believe if something were going to go wrong...it would have already. God has been so faithful and everything has just perfectly fallen into place. (I wanted to share some of the raw feelings you go through as a surrogate and I'm wanting to communicate that for people that are following this journey to see what this looks like from both perspectives. It's not always easy but either is normal life and God has ordained this from the beginning so I trust that everything is going to come out just the perfect way he planned!)

The Closer We Get

2010-01-15T13:51:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
So the past few weeks I've come to realize that the closer Anthony and I get to having our little girl here, the more anxious and nervous we are about this pregnancy! Our little girl is well on her way to making her debut in May but her little lungs are not fully developed yet...so if anything were to happen, we would lose her. We can't even imagine losing another baby. We pray every night for God's supernatural protection over her and over Jineen, but that somehow doesn't relieve our every day anxiety! :(
We've had several talks with Shane and Jineen about it and Jineen laughs about most of it, although I know she gets annoyed occasionally. It's an interesting thing, this road of surrogacy. I can't imagine doing this with someone I don't know but something has happened that I didn't realized would....it's very difficult to have a serious conversation about a concern that you have (as an Intended Parent) with your Surrogate (who is also your close friend) in this situation. It's hard for both of us not to get emotional and/or defensive based on what we individually believe is the right decision with any specific issue. It's forced Jineen and I to have tough but loving conversations and to really hear each other and trust each other on even a deeper level. Actually, it's like the same work you do on your marriage: communication, listening, understanding...you're just doing it with a friend and not just your husband. It has stretched me and my faith and it has given me a deeper love for Jineen as well. The few issues we've had have been concerning issues, but they've always seemed to work out and be fine in the end. I wanted to share this with our followers because it is important for everyone to know that even God given journeys have their challenges. This one has had few, but for the most part they haven't been too bad and I'm sure there are lessons in each one of the issues for us to learn from.
The anxiety you feel, as an Intended Parent-who lives states away and can not even see/feel or experience the growth of their own baby, is incredibly difficult to endure each day. Because the pregnancy has gone so well, we don't get many ultrasounds anymore, so the Black and White pictures, that Jineen used to mail me, have stopped. I looked forward to those every week and it made me a little sad when I stopped getting them. I spoke with Dr. Dunn today and she told me that she planned on doing 1 more ultrasound next trimester, just for Anthony and I, but that she wouldn't normally do that because everything seems very normal. Everything is normal with the baby, but we won't get to see much of her until she is born in May. The doctor agreed to order an ultrasound for us in February and another in the 3rd trimester, so we'll at least get to see her 2 more times! That made my day today!!!! She agreed that we could have more but we would most likely have to pay for them out of pocket because insurance wouldn't cover them without reason. Good ol' health insurance.
Well, all in all I have to say that I am growing, as a person and in my faith, as we continue on this journey. I'm' also SO excited about the next few months and the arrival of our little girl. I also feel like I've gained an entire family (the George/Glover Family) and I love them so much! I now have 7 (almost 8) adopted nieces and nephews! What an incredible experience to have in life and I thank God every day for the blessings of this journey. I can't wait to see what He has in store for our little girl; I think her life must be so purposeful that every moment will be an adventure :)

Feeling the Baby Kick

2010-01-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

FROM JINEEN: Yesterday my oldest daughter came into my bedroom and felt the baby kick like three times in a row! She was laughing and smiling! So cute for her to experience that! It never gets old how amazing it is to feel a baby moving inside you. Shane felt the baby last night too! Next time Myla and I are together she will finally get to experience feeling her baby move-that will be very special for her!
I tell you what I'd forgotten how much work it is to grow a human being inside you! Wow! I'm tired and already ready for Spring! Looking forward to being outside again and not feeling depressed being cooped up in the house!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-05T07:24:00.001-08:00

FROM JINEEN: Happy New Year! Looking forward to all the changes that will happen in my life this year! I have to say I enjoy change so I am ready! I haven't blogged in awhile but I guess that's because I'm not sure what else to write to add to Myla's posts. Was gonna write about feeling the baby kick but not sure what else to say except that it is always very cool to feel a baby moving inside you. I've obviously had lots going on with the holidays, being pregnant and having three other kids and all the fun that goes with that. That has been keeping me busy and a little overwhelmed at times!
We found out yesterday that it is a girl as most people thought! Fun fun! I loved having my little girl first! There is so many fun details that go into having little girls so I know Myla will love it! It is definitely strange knowing that you are walking around with someone elses baby. Still very weird to me. Pretty cool that it is possible though!
I had some weird pain last week, but am doing better now! Still hard to believe I am due on my 35th birthday! God has a great sense of humor! Looking forward to the next few months and then I will be on the next project of losing the baby weight! Ha...always a fun time! I'm going to enjoy my treats now while I can!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

2010-01-04T14:32:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
IT'S A GIRL!!!!! SO many of you predicted that it was gonna be a girl! She is so cute! The 4D ultrasound was pretty good. We had the awesome tech that took our amazing 10wk picture but the baby wasn't very cooperative today! Her little head wasa nuzzled up against the placenta and that makes it impossible for the tech to be able to see the defined details of her little face. I'll post the best one we got but it's not that great. There are a few great blk/wht pics though.
Jineen is feeling great and the back pain is gone, praise God. Everything looks normal and healthy so we are thankful for that. I'll get to see her again in Feb because our Baby Shower in WV will be in February! Very exciting!!!
Thank God for little Girls :)

Happy New Year! 2010 is OUR YEAR!

2010-01-01T09:20:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

Happy New Year bloggers! 2010 is finally here and Anthony and I are so excited that this is our year! We've been waiting and praying for this year for 2 years now and our prayers have finally been answered...we will be parents this year! :)
We were talking about it early this morning and Anthony had the sweetest grin on his face. He is getting very excited about the baby!

I go to Nashville for the ultrasound on Monday. We will definitely find out the sex this time. It's been a joke with Jineen and I that we WILL NOT have the last ultrasound tech again! She was so horrible! We are hoping for Tanya, who was the incredible technician who took that amazing 10 week old ultrasound picture for us. She rocks. Hoping she will be working on Monday.

The pains Jineen has been experiencing have gone away. We still don't know what was causing them. She told me today that her belly is even bigger than last week and she can feel the baby moving around constantly! She's hoping I will be able to feel it this weekend! Maybe the baby was just in a position that was pushing on something that was causing that uncomfortable pain; or maybe it was the same time everyday because that is the time of day the baby is most active. I'm praying that this is all the pain was about. We don't want our Jineen in any additional stress or pain! Seriously Lord, could you put a kabash on that for us?!?!? :) Thank you!

We'll post some pics from Christmas as well as more blogs now that the holidays are over~

5 More Days~

2009-12-30T19:31:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
Just 5 more days until we find out the sex of the baby! Everyone is dying to know! It's been fun guessing but I'm ready for the real deal now. Gotta start buying the right gender of baby gear! :)
Sorry we haven't blogged much. The past few months have been crazy. I was hoping we would get time to blog while Jineen and Shane were visiting last week, but that trip was cut short due to the blizzard that hit VA. You probably read about that in my last blog. :( I was going through the pics from their visit and I only have pics of the kids!!!!! I just told Jineen today that there isn't one picture of she and I from Christmas! She and Shane had a formal Christmas party that they attended, so she promised to send me the picture of her all dressed up in her sequence dress with that adorable belly! She looks so cute these days! She thinks she's huge but she's not...just adorable!
She has been visiting family in Buffalo the past week. We had a little scare a few days ago when she went to the ER with strange back pain. Doctor's never did figure out what the problem was but Jineen and Baby seem to be ok. I think she is still having dull back pain (around kidneys) the same time every afternoon. Seems really strange. Any ideas what it could be? Please keep Jineen and Baby in your prayers and also keep the entrie Glover family in prayer as they head back to TN this weekend. They plan to drive straight through so that's a tough one!
We'll get some pics posted on here soon and I'll see if I can get Jineen to blog.

Finally Here!

2009-12-20T15:20:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
Well, they planned on being here early yesterday afternoon...BUT, the Blizzard made sure that didn't happen! After being on the road from 6pm Friday night to almost 9pm Saturday night, they were finally able to get off of the road and find a hotel room in Staunton, VA! A trip that should have only taken them 12 hours has taken them 45 hours! They were stuck on the interstate in VA overnight Friday night and barely moved! So frustrating. The Lord kept them safe and they finally made it to our house today at 3:30pm. Jineen has been complaining of her swollen ankles, which are from all the sitting. Hopefully they will be fine by tomorrow.
Anthony ran them into the city to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular tonight and then we are going to meet them for dinner! I'm hoping they will be able to get a few days of rest before hitting the road to head north for Christmas.
Thanks to all of you who have been calling and praying for them during their drive here. :)

Prayer Request for Safe Travels

2009-12-18T08:39:00.001-08:00

FROM MYLA:

Please pray for the Glover family as they travel today and tomorrow through several sleet and snowbound areas of the country. We want them to have a safe and fun-filled trip,without stress, worry or car issues. We have been praying for a 'STRESSLESS' pregnancy for Jineen's health and the health of her family and the baby.

Thanks for your prayer support! We love all of you are following this story.

Glover's Christmas Gift

2009-12-17T06:32:00.001-08:00

FROM MYLA:
Shane and Jineen received their gift Tuesday evening. It seems like it took FOREVER for it to get there! The week before, I called Jineen to tell her that the delivery guy would call her to schedule the delivery time and she said she was gonna ask him what it was! Then Anthony called the delivery company and changed the phone number so they would call him instead of Jineen! We've been having fun with this for 2 weeks, but we were disappointed when the delivery ended up being 3 days later than we thought. Every day that I had to tell Jineen she was like, "Come ON! You HAVE to tell me now!" So funny.
Tuesday evening, Jineen was home peeking out the window every 5 minutes to see if the delivery truck was outside! I can see her now, like a little girl looking for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve...so cute! And there it was, being pulled out of the truck by one lonely delivery guy...the Samsung 46" LCD HDTV. Jineen was giggling when she called me to say it had arrived. "I KNEW IT", she said. "I thought it might be a TV when you asked me about the picture over our fireplace but then you confused me when you said you had a piece of it at your house!" We couldn't believe that one delivery guy carried it in the house. Have you ever seen TV boxes? The TV could be 12 inches and the box would be 12 feet long. Seriously. The kids were going crazy too! The whole night was SO MUCH FUN!

Anthony really wanted to get a gift that Shane would absolutely love because most of our gifts are showered on Jineen, naturally, because she's the pregnant one. However, Shane has to deal with the hormones of it all. :) Anthony mentioned buying them a TV and thought it would be more of Shane gift but the whole family would love it as well! I thought it was a great idea because it was something tangible that they would have for many years and it's also a gift that would remind them of this special time in our lives that God is leading us through.

Shane called us later that evening. "I've already set it all up" he said. "It only took me 10 minutes!" I could hear the happiness in his voice. It feels so good to give to friends...just wish there was actually something we could give that would match the amazing gift that they are giving Anthony and I. Nothing we can buy could ever repay them for this selfless gift of love. We are so excited to see them on Saturday! It will be a wonderful few days of visiting with the entire family.

We are so thankful this Christmas for our family, our dear friends and the blessing of good health.

The Baby's First Kick

2009-12-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

Jineen felt the baby kick for the first time yesterday! She's thought maybe she's felt it before but it wasn't ever distinct enough to know for sure. Yesterday's kick was positively the little booger bouncing around in there! Ant and I were SOOOO excited when we got the text message from Jineen! :)

The Glover's are extra busy over the next week trying to have 2 Christmas' before they leave to drive north for the holiday, so I'm not sure how much blogging Jineen will be able to do over the next few weeks. We will try to blog while they are visiting and then we will definitely blog about our January ultrasound appointment.
God has been so good to us throughout this entire pregnancy and we are focusing on giving Him the honor and praise over the Christmas Holiday!

Christmas Gift

2009-12-10T06:36:00.001-08:00

FROM MYLA:

We've been driving Jineen crazy with anticipation this week! We are having a Christmas Gift delivered to Shane and Jineen this week and she is dying to know what it could be! Even Roxy is dying to know! Should be delivered on Saturday, which is perfect timing because they will be having 1 of their Christmas' that morning!
We love sending Shane and Jineen surprises! :) Although most of the gifts tend to be more for Jineen, this one Shane should be really excited about too! The only bummer for us is that we can not be there to see their faces when it's delivered. That's the best part of Christmas for us, giving to others and seeing the happiness on the faces of the people you love.

The Glover kids are pumped because they've just realized that they are going to be having 5 Christmas' this year! 2 at home, 2 with us, and 1 with the George family. How lucky are they!!! Jineen said she won't be surprised if one of them says, "Mama, you should carry someones baby every year!" :) OH, that gives me an idea for another T-Shirt..."Uterus for rent" or "Vacancy - Surrogate for Hire". Well, maybe not, those don't sound so good and would need alot of explaining!

Anthony and I are so excited for our trip to see my family. It's been 2 years since we've spent Christmas with them. It will be our last WV Christmas by ourselves! Next year, we'll have our little 'buddy' tagging along too! Wow, that car ride will be exciting: Anthony, Myla, 2 dogs and a 7 month old. Ah, life is fun, isn't it?

We are wishing everyone a Blessed and Happy Christmas! May you all have the deepest desires of your heart.
Merry Christmas~

What 2010 will Hold

2009-12-04T18:06:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
I've been thinking about how quickly this year is coming to an end and how amazing it is going to be as we begin the year 2010...the greatest year of our lives; the year that God gives us our little miracle! We still have 4ish months to go, but it's going to pass so quickly and I will find myself sitting in the OR beside Jineen trying to make her laugh, although I'm sure there will be many more tears than laughs!
For some reason, I am going to have several life changing memories of me crying my eyes out with Jineen around! We still joke about one of those times that happened 15 years ago. I'll share:
I dated the the same guy, in college, for 4 years. Don't ask me what I was thinking. It wasn't a consistent 4 years as there were many break-ups in there and it was quite a time of craziness. I was totally fine that the relationship was over, however, I had grown very attached to his family and when the time came to end this relationship for good, I TOTALLY DREADED, having to say goodbye to them. Every year our singing team, LIGHT, went to Buffalo, NY and sang at The Chapel for Easter. This was his home church and although he was not going to be there with us, everyone in his family would be. There had been a plan for me to have Easter Dinner with his family but I just couldn't bring myself to still go to that dinner. His dad called and asked me to please still come but I had to tell him that I didn't think it was appropriate and that it would be SO hard for me to say goodbye to them, but I would see them in Church that evening. I was also supposed to be staying with his mom for the weekend, but of course, I couldn't do that either...so Jineen offered to let me stay with her at her parents house. Her father is a pastor at The Chapel. Well, Sunday night arrived and we sang our concert and began tearing down the sound equipment. I could see my ex-boyfriends family waiting in the back of the church for us to finish up. I was dreading this goodbye. We all walked to the parking lot and the goodbyes began; I was in tears hugging his parents and grandparents. I looked at his step mom and just said, "I can't even say it to you" and then I just lost it. I literally sobbed that ENTIRE night! You'd think someone died or something! Jineen was there with me through that and tried to help me through it but I just couldn't stop crying!!! By the next morning, my eyes were so swollen that I could barely see! Seriously, I looked like I turned Chinese overnight. I was unrecognizable! :) Says something when you cry over the family and not the boy!!!! We have laughed about that morning for years ! WELL...that long story to say that I have a feeling I will be looking exactly the same in May when I walk out of that delivery room with our little baby in my arms. It will be the most priceless moment in my life. I can't wait to hand the baby to Anthony and see the expression on his face. I hope he recognizes me when I come out of the OR, after all the crying...heeheehee!
Once again, Jineen will be there with me as I sob, tears of joy this time, through a life changing event. God must be telling me something with all of this. Maybe Jineen is my worldly comforter. :)
2010 is definitely going to be a life changing year for Ant and I. We are more than ready for it and we already talk about those first 6 months of private time and bonding with our little baby. Our relationship will be changed forever and we are so excited about that new level of love that we will be reaching together! :)
Jineen is already saying that she will be coming to visit us, when I go back to work, so she can take care of the baby! She gets first dibs since she did carry the little booger for 9 months! I don't think anyone in the world, other than Anthony and I, could love this precious baby more than Jineen. She keeps saying that she can't wait to see it's little face and butt; I can't wait to see her face when she is holding this miracle child. It truly will be a miracle year for us all.
So we wait until January 4th to find out the sex of the baby and that will start off our 2010! What a way to start the year :)

Counting Down the Days

2009-12-02T08:36:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

Only 16 more days until the Glover's are here to visit us!!! We are so excited! We've finished our Christmas shopping for the kids and now we can't to see them open them :)

Thanksgiving "Thanks"

2009-11-30T07:49:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
Well, the Thanksgiving holiday has come and gone and I have to say that Anthony and I have never been more thankful than we are this year. God has really chosen to bless us with our little baby on the way and the dear and precious friends that He has chosen to walk this journey with us. It's been an amazing 6 months and I can't believe how quickly the time has gone since we began this journey with Shane and Jineen! We couldn't be more thankful for Shane and Jineen if we tried! Our hearts are overjoyed with the gift of love they are giving us. What a miracle; what a precious gift of love.

Someone asked me if the time is going by slowly and honestly...I feel like I don't have enough time to get everything done before the little cutie gets here! We have many events to look forward to over the next 6 months and that is what is keeping me so busy. In December, the entire Glover family will be visiting us and we are getting ready for that week by Christmas shopping for the Glover kids. We will be spending time in NYC, going to see the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall, shopping, and making a quick visit to our fertility clinic to check in with our friends there. It's going to be a great time! Then in January I get to go back to TN for the next ultrasound and this one WILL tell us what the sex of the baby is! FINALLY! :) I'll be able to complete my baby shower registries because I'll know if I'm buying for a boy or a girl. That's going to be fun for us!!!

Speaking of baby showers, we have 3 baby showers coming up in 2010: February, March and April...so that is going to keep us very busy as well. SO MUCH TO DO and all so happy and exciting! I can't wait to see all of our friends who have been following our story and praying with us about this pregnancy. The showers are going to be an emotional ball of fun!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2009-11-26T20:29:00.000-08:00

FROM JINEEN: Today was Thanksgiving! All I have to say is...I was really craving mashed potatoes and gravy and corn. I definitely ate my fill! Gotta love being pregnant during the holidays...get to enjoy all the fun foods! I will not be enjoying them after I deliver though as I will have to be working off the weight I've gained! It's nice though while it lasts! It's been fun seeing family and I can't wait to go home to see MY family! I haven't been home in over a year and Buffalo food is the best! Once again...can't wait to eat really good during Christmas! Sad how much I've been thinking about food! I guess I was the same way in my own 3 pregnancies! Fun times...well I'm really trying to think of more things to blog about, but it's kind of just the daily routine of pregnancy at this point. I'm in my 16th week so I should be feeling the baby any day now. That will be exciting! Definitely one of my favorite parts about being pregnant! Excited about giving the best gift...especially as I think about giving Christmas presents soon. This will have to be the best present I have ever given someone! Can't wait for that! So thankful today for God's calling to do this even in the moments of "uncomfortableness". A friend told me recently....you are doing something extraordinary and not many people can say that they did something extraordinary in their life...I thought, that really is pretty neat that God would think me worthy enough and able to do something so amazing! Can't wait to kiss that little Papariello baby! Happy Thanksgiving!

2nd Trimester

2009-11-21T09:24:00.000-08:00

FROM JINEEN: So I'm in the 2nd trimester finally and thank God am having no more nausea. I think I've got a little more energy too! I think! Had a good, crazy weekend with Myla and Anthony. It was fun to see the ultrasound with them and Roxy of course! So glad to have her to support me!
Got my first ever prenatal massage-never had one of those with my other three children-very relaxing! Ready to be showing more so I don't just look fat! Should be able to feel the baby kicking soon which is always fun! Still strange to me that I am even pregnant and with someone elses baby...I think it will all really hit me when I am in the hospital and I'm recovering and I don't have to take care of a baby! Going to be very strange I'm sure! Looking forward to NOT having to be up all through the night though! I've been imagining the range of emotions...should be all over the place! Then I will be tackling the losing weight-a fourth time! Fun! Fun!
Well...looking forward to eating a Thanksgiving dinner! Hoping to relax a little-glad I don't have to do the cooking!

Whirlwind Trip

2009-11-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
We have returned from our trip to Nashville and we are TIRED. It was a wonderful time with Shane and Jineen and it was so great to be able to go to the doctor with Jineen and see our little baby. We had a full itinerary during the 4 days we were there and I was unable to blog or even check my FB, as my blackberry freaked out on me and the Glover's home computer wasn't working properly....so sorry that we have been MIA! :)

Saturday - We arrived and went to lunch with Shane's mom and dad,who were in town to see their granddaughters' school play. It was so great to finally meet them and get to know them a little. We had a fun-filled BBQ lunch with them, then walked through the quaint streets of Franklin, TN to a cute little yogurt store on the corner. Love the town of Franklin! It reminds me of some of the little towns in NJ (Westfield, Madison, Summit) very cute and very nice. After dessert, we said our goodbyes and headed back to the Glover home. We had to be at the school play that night to see Jineen's daughter perform the lead role of Marian in 'Robinhood'. She did a fabulous job and I was amazed at how many lines she memorized for a 5th grader! She's a natural!

Sunday - Church at Journey Church, in Franklin. I don't know how to explain what an amazing experience it was to be at Journey Church after hearing about it the past 3 years. Jamie George, pastor and brother of Jineen, told us about this church, he was going to be planting, back in 2006 at our LIGHT Reunion. We'd been praying for Jamie and his family as they ventured on this HUGE task of church planting. That was a little over 3 years ago and it is amazing how God has blessed the work of this church. It has grown to 1000 members and the location is so cool! It's in an old Factory and the rafters and rough wood inside gives it such an artistic vibe. There are old windows and doors, hanging freely to create a wall, and you see them when you first walk in; it's an artistic masterpiece in itself and we really enjoyed what they call "The Round" where Jamie preaches from 1ce a month. It's a smaller stage, in the center of the congregation and all the seats are circled around the stage. Very cool idea. The 'boys' took off to the Titans/Bills football game after the service and the girls went for Mexican food! The weather was absolutely gorgeous; 70 degrees and sunny. It was a perfect day. Jineen had planned a little party at her house for the evening and I was really looking forward to seeing our old buddies from college as well as meeting some of our new wonderful friends in TN.
It was a very emotional day for us. I didn't expect to be hit with the 'awkwardness' of not knowing how to discuss our situation with strangers, but that is what happened to me Sunday morning. It's a rare occasion that I don't know how to respond in a conversation, so it was surprisingly uncomfortable for me at first. Once I recognized that I was unprepared to talk in depth with everyone about this, it became easier for me to relax and just put the focus back on what an amazing gift it is for Jineen to be doing this for us. Bottom line, I really just didn't want to be fighting back tears all day, so that was also part of not wanting to talk in depth about everything. Well, as soon as we sat down in church and the praise music started, Jineen and I both lost it. I put my head on her shoulder and we sang through "Carried To The Table" as we wiped tears. One of Jineen's friends leaned forward and said, "You guys are making my cry!" As hard as we tried not to cry...it was inevitable :) This is such a God journey, that we are on, and it is overwhelmingly emotional when the 4 of us stop to focus on Him and give thanks. It's also very emotional for me to have Anthony holding my left hand and Jineen holding my right. Anyway, Sunday was an incredible day and I was so happy to see Jen, Jeremy, Roxy, Keith, David, Steve, Kimberly, little Daisy, all the George clan and all of my new friends who have been following our story through this blog. Thank you all for coming to celebrate with us and for praying for us! We are so blessed with so many wonderful people in our lives. Thank you.

Monday - Ultrasound Day! Ant and I were very excited to go with Jineen and Roxy to the doctor's appointment for the first time. We had the ultrasound first and that was a bittersweet experience. We didn't get the amazing tech who took that AMAZING picture of our baby at 10 weeks. No, we got miss, "I don't know what I'm doing" tech who was grumpy and uncooperative. She put a serious bummer on the experience. After many faces between Roxy and I and taking the rudeness for about 10 minutes, I very nicely told the tech that we flew all the way from NJ to be here for this ultrasound, that this could be the only ultrasound that Anthony is able to see and that we would appreciate her cooperation. She then agreed to do the type of ultrasound we were requesting, but in the end, she really didn't know how to do what we were asking. That is most likely why she was so insistent on NOT doing it that way. :/ Needless to say, we didn't get any good pictures out of it. I told Jineen that the tech didn't ruin my experience, she was just annoying. She was like an annoying fly, buzzing around your head during your favorite picnic!
Well, either way, we were unable to tell the sex of the baby, so now we are going to have to wait until January. So for everyone who is anxiously awaiting the news before Christmas....you'll have to wait a few weeks longer! I have posted a funny picture from this ultrasound experience. It looks like the baby is pinching it's nose! So funny! Sorry that it's SO FUZZY.
After the ultrasound, we got to meet the new OBGYN, who is awesome. She's so happy and encouraging! Love her! The baby and Jineen are doing great and everyone is healthy and progressing as scheduled. Such a relief every time I hear that.
After the doctor's visit, we went downtown Nashville to have a yummy lunch and then it was off to the surrogate attorney. We had to sign all paperwork requesting the Pre-Birth Order. It was nice to finally meet the attorney I've been talking with over the phone. She's very nice and seems to really know what is going on in the world of surrogacy in TN. Very comforting to have someone on your side who knows how to maneuver through the court system and hospital procedures, making is a smooth process for the 4 of us. :)
We finally got home around 3:30 and Roxy finally got to head home! We kidnapped her for the day. She wasn't planning on seeing the attorney with us, but we ran out of time after lunch... so we made her come with. She's such a good sport! Love her. All went well and we are well on our way to having the legal aspect of this completed.

We've been talking about seeing "The Proposal" together for over a month, so the 4 of us watched it Monday night. It is such a cute movie! If you like love stories, you'll enjoy this romantic comedy.

Tuesday - It was freezing! The past 3 days had been 70 degrees and sunny but not today; rainy and cold. Well, I guess you can't win them all. One more trip to an attorney's office to have our final documents notarized. One of Jineen's friends offered to do this for us so we ran over to her office to take care of the signatures. We dropped Anthony back at the house because he had a ton of work to do, so Jineen and I went to meet Jennifer for lunch. What a great time of catching up and good food/desserts! It seemed like I just saw Jen yesterday; we are just wiser and more experienced now! (hee hee hee :) She is so beautiful and has such a beautiful family. It's so good to re-connect with her face to face. Right after lunch, Jineen and I headed over to Pickles and Ice Cream, a maternity/baby store. She had been telling me about is for weeks and then Kimberly bought me the most beautiful diaper bag from there...so we wanted to go together and check it out. SO CUTE! We were finally able to find Jineen some comfortable jeans and some beautiful sweaters! I also found a really cute outfit for our babies trip home from the hospital. Precious. We had to rush home from Pickles and Ice Cream because it was time to head to the airport. I didn't want to go home but it was time to get back to the swing of things back home.

We'll get to see The Glover's again in December. They will be coming to our house, right before Christmas, and we are going to have a ball! That's only 4 weeks away...CRAZY! The time is flying by throughout this entire experience.

Anxiously Waiting to See Our Baby

2009-11-09T07:34:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:

The week is here...and we are finally going to be going to Nashville to see the Glover family and our little baby! It seems like it's been forever since we've seen Jineen and I can't wait to see how cute she looks with her little belly and new maternity clothes!

Before we began this process, we were all joking about how we were gonna have T-Shirts (for Jineen) made with funny sayings on them like:
"I'm not fat...I'm pregnant"(This is the one Jineen kept saying she wanted)
"This Is Not My Baby"
"Baby Mama"
So I bought 3 maternity T-Shirts, had them made and shipped them to Jineen :) She thought it was hysterical! We were laughing so hard about it on Saturday that we've decided to go into business together making Surrogate Maternity T-Shirts. I can't wait to hear about the stories, she will have to share, when she wears the one that says "This is not my baby"! So much fun! I told her she should wear it in church the next time she is singing with the worship team! I can only imagine the rumors that could start from that! She was telling me about her most recent trip to the hair salon and how interested, all the hairdressers were, in our story! It's amazing how many lives are touched by this journey we are on. It's just another confirmation that God is at work in this story.

We have several things to accomplish, once we get to TN. We will get to meet our new OBGYN and we'll experience our first 4D Ultrasound. That's gonna be my favorite! I hope Roxie Blomstrom will get to come with us, since she has been there for every single appointment with Jineen. I don't know what we'd do without our 'Surrogate Mommy'. A cool tid-bit about Roxie: she is the mother of a dear friend of ours from college, Jennifer Blomstrom Breland. Jennifer and I sang together with Light Ministries and traveled the world doing missions work together. I fell in love with her parents the moment I met them. I remember Roxie doing cartwheels in the front yard of her house as the LIGHT van pulled up the driveway! Keith and Roxie were Milton Hershey School Host Home Parents, at the time, and I had so much respect for the work that they were doing with the kids at Milton Hershey. {If you don't know about the Milton Hershey School, you should do an Internet search and read about how Mr. Milton Hershey has changed the lives of so many children. It's amazing.} Roxie is a born encourager and knows how to lighten and lift any worrisome situation. So when she offered to walk through this journey with Jineen, both Jineen and I were so happy! I couldn't have hand picked a better friend to be by Jineen's side for her appointments in TN. That is the biggest disappointment for me, that I can't be there myself for every appointment. Having someone I love and trust, like Miss Roxie, who loves and cares for Jineen even outside of this situation, was God's way of relieving our worries. We knew that Shane would not be able to go to many, if any, of the appointments with Jineen. So Roxie....YOU ARE A GODSEND. We love, love, love you and we can't wait for you to meet this adorable little child of God that you have supported for 9 months! :) I still can't get the mental picture out of my head of your imitation of the baby's ultrasound photo! Priceless. I love you for being such a lover.

Several friends have told us that there is a good possibility that we might be able to see what the sex of the baby is during this ultrasound, but we are thinking it might be a few weeks too early yet.

Another thing we will do this visit is meet up with our TN attorney, whom we've only been dealing with over the phone/email...so that will be exciting. She will be the one to assist us in getting our Pre-Birth Court Order, which is the legal document that has to be applied for and received, by the county courthouse, before delivery. This document allows the hospital to put the last name of "Papariello" on the Baby's Birth Certificate; if we didn't have this legal document, at the hospital, the baby's last name would be "Glover" on the birth certificate and then we would have to go to court to have it changed after delivery. So to avoid all that confusion...most attorney's recommend the Pre-Birth Order be done in advance. Interestingly enough, if our surrogate lived in NJ...the Pre-Birth order would be granted but could not be signed until 72 hours after the baby is delivered. So the Birth Certificate goes in the name of the surrogate for this 72 hour period. If the surrogate changes her mind and decides she wants to keep the baby, legally in the state of NJ, she can refuse to sign the Pre-Birth Order and she keeps the baby! As Intended Parents, we would have a long legal battle to get our baby back because Intended Parental Rights are not protected in NJ. (As liberal as this state is, I still can't believe that.)

Our TN attorney will also work with the hospital, of our choice, in making sure our Birth Plan is carried out the way we choose. We still have to fill out the paperwork and make a trip to the hospital to figure out many other medical choices that have to be made. We are hoping to do that in the new year.

It's the 2nd trimester and a whole new phase of this pregnancy for all of us! We feel as if we've gotten over the biggest hurdle of all and we are praying for smooth sailing from here on out. God has heard our prayers and answered them in every detail. We prayed for a surrogate and we got Jineen; We prayed for Jineen/Shane to pass the approval appointment, and not only did they pass with flying colors but we were told that we were the first couple to be approved and get through the process so quickly! We prayed that we could work out the embryo transfer date, so our doctor would be the one doing the transfer, and it worked out; We prayed that the embryos would live through thawing - they did; we prayed for successful implantation and it happened; we prayed for the umbilical cord cyst to go away - and it's gone; we prayed that Jineen would not get sick during the first trimester, and although she felt nauseous the entire time, she did not throw up! Prayer answered...with a little God humor thrown in there as well!

The 4 of us are so blessed and we are so excited to see what the next 29 weeks will hold for us.

Photo Withdrawl :(

2009-11-03T11:31:00.000-08:00

FROM MYLA:
After being spoiled week after week by those cute little black and white ultrasound pictures, I am now officially in photo withdrawal! We haven't seen an updated ultrasound picture since the last AMAZING photo on October 22nd. I had no idea how dependant I had become on getting that little 'pick-me-up" in the mail every week from Jineen. The good news is that we will actually be there for the next ultrasound on November 16th! YEA!

Anthony is finally getting excited about the baby. He came to me with a print out of 'Yankee's' One-sies that he found online. Comes in pink and blue. How cute. I'm so happy that he did this because now I know that he is getting excited about the baby and that makes me feel good. It also made me realize that I'm destined to have a child that is a Yankees fanatic. Although, this week is the week that the vocal chords are completely formed so I am also banking on the fact that this little one will sing like a bird :) It has to have SOMETHING from my side of the family :) Jineen has a wonderful singing voice and she promised to fill our baby's little life with music, while in the womb. I'm so thankful for that. Pretty soon, Ant and I will start making CDs of our voices and sending them to Jineen so the baby can hear us. So exciting! I'm also very excited to hear what my husband is going to say on those recordings, "Oh man of many words". This is going to be fun for me!!!! :)

Jineen and I were also thinking about doing a recording(she and I)of baby songs. I would love doing that! Any song suggestions?

Buying Clothes for a Pregnant Friend who lives 900 miles away!

2009-10-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

As if buying clothes for the 'ever changing' body of a beautiful pregnant woman isn't hard enough...add living 900 miles apart to that recipe! It's impossible. I've been looking for a winter coat for my dear friend, Jineen, who is going to be coming north in December/January and is going to need warmth! We found ourselves on the phone today trying to figure out if she liked the coat that I had found; if the size is good and how will she return it if it's a 'no go'. I had the poor sales lady holding it up so I could take pictures of it and text it to Jineen...she wanted to see if she liked it! :) Ah, modern technology...what in the world would we do without it? Seriously.

I have the hardest time eyeing sizes to fit me, let alone Jineen, who says her body is changing every day. I second guess myself on every size I pick up for her! Hopefully I'll get a better idea of what sizes are fitting her next month when we are in TN. She swears that she will look like an overstuffed marshmallow, if the coat is too big, but I say she couldn't look like that if she were trying her hardest! :)

Our Theme Song

2009-10-23T11:17:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
In the beginning of this whole process, David and Jessica Bancroft were living with Anthony and I for a few months. They were in the process of moving and were in and out of town alot, so we offered to let them use our home as a 'touch down pad' as they prepared for the big move. During one of the last weeks they were around, David and I went into our piano room and he sat at the piano and began playing some of the praise songs we sing at Liquid. One of our newest, at the time (and one of my favs) is "Reign In Us" by Starfield. David began playing/singing it and I pulled up a chair and started singing harmony with him. As we were singing the words, it occurred to me that this song is exactly what Anthony, Jineen, Shane and I are praying for right now! It was a perfect prayer for the beginning of our surrogacy journey! I asked Jineen if she knew the song and she said she'd never heard it. So I emailed it to her; She and Shane both fell in love with the song. It's such a great song! We felt like it was perfect for the months that were ahead of us.

Looking back over the past few months, God really did do exactly what we asked Him to do...Reign In Us (and in Jineen's belly and the little life of our baby) through this situation.

REIGN IN US
You thought of us before the world began to breathe
You knew our names before we came to be
You saw the very day we'd fall away from you
How desperately we need to be redeemed
Lord Jesus, Come lead us, We're desperate for Your touch.
Oh great and mighty One
with one desire we come
That You would reign
That you would reign in us
We offer up our lives
A living sacrifice
That you would reign
That you would reign in us
Spirit of the living God, fall fresh again
Come search our hearts and purify our lives
We need Your perfect love, we need Your discipline
We're lost unless you guide us with Your light
Lord Jesus, Come lead us, We're desperate for Your touch.
Oh great and mighty One
with one desire we come
That You would reign
That you would reign in us
We offer up our lives
A living sacrifice
That you would reign
That you would reign in us
We cry out, for Your life to refine us
Cry out, for your love to define us
Cry out, for your mercy to keep us...blameless until You return
Oh great and mighty One
with one desire we come
That You would reign
That you would reign in us
We offer up our lives
A living sacrifice
That you would reign
That you would reign in us
So reign, please reign, in us
Come purify our hearts, we need Your touch
Come cleanse us like a flood, and send us out
So the world may know You reign, You Reign, in us!

If you'd like to hear this song I've posted the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dohj2QAdzs

Due Date

2009-10-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
Ok I really am gonna try and blog more...I'm just so stinking tired and wiped out from this first trimester! Only 2 more weeks and I should have a burst of energy! Yeah!
I think it's the coolest thing that of all the dates in the year-this baby is now said to be due on my 35th birthday!(May 18th) God is so amazing to do that! I'm actually thinking though that we will do a c-section because I had that with my third baby and they recommend that. It will be so much fun though to be hanging out-healing at home celebrating my 35th with Myla and Anthony and baby and my family! What a great gift to give on a birthday! Looking forward to that and so amazed at God's miracles! The picture in 4d today was unbelievable! Hard to believe that at 10 weeks a baby is so fully formed-breathtaking! Can't wait to be with Myla and Anthony during the next ultrasound here in November-so much fun!

GONE!

2009-10-22T10:42:00.001-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Our prayers have been answered! There was NO cyst to be found anywhere this morning! The tech explained that it could've been there and then popped over the past week but she seems to think it was what's called "Gut Creation". She said that the intestines grow partially in the abdomen and partially in the umbilical cord, so the 'gut' could make the umbilical cord appear lumpy. Praise God!!!
This was the 1st 3D Ultrasound that we've had and Jineen's reaction was priceless! :) She's never had a 3D before and she's never had ultrasounds this early with any of her kids, so her reaction today was so so cute. She started giggling right away and said, "Oh my gosh, look at that! It's so big! It looks like a real baby!" She said that the 3D visual makes it seems like you're looking at a baby and not a fuzzy little image. The legs, arms, tiny fingers/toes, eyes, head...it was all very clear! My chest was filled with joy and I was balling at the same time! It's so bitter sweet that I can hear everything that is going on but I can't see it. The coolest thing though, the Tech made a very detailed DVD of the ultrasound and she is going to send it to us. We can't wait to see it!!! I've attached the 3D photo of Baby Papariello.

We also had the discussion about flu vaccination and have decided to go ahead with both the seasonal flu shot and H1N1 vaccination, once it is available. The doctor recommends it and has not seen a temperature over 100 with any of her vaccinations this year. I think Jineen decided to go ahead and have the seasonal shot today, so my stomach has been flipping. I hate that she is still having to have shots. I don't want her to have any more shots! Ugh. I don't want to inflict any additional pain onto her than what has already been inflicted AND what is to come in May!!!

I am so relieved today and so at peace. It's amazing to see our little precious baby looking so healthy and so alive!!! Jineen said it is moving around like crazy. She can't feel it yet but she will start feeling those little kicks and punches in a few weeks. :) I can't wait to see them in 3 weeks! For the first time today, I didn't even think about the 8 little ones that we lost...that pain is erased and has been replaced with the happiness of this miracle that is on the way.
We are so blessed that God has seen fit to write this amazing story into our lives and I am amazed every single week at the progress. We'll keep you posted!
More 3D pics to come.

Puppy Training

2009-10-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
So we were watching "Me or the Dog" and it was an episode of a family with 2 dogs and no children. They were expecting their first child and one of the dogs was very aggressive toward children. The owners were afraid that the dog might attack or bite the new baby. Now, our dogs are no attack dogs, BUT they get VERY excited when kids come over. They bark at them constantly and they jump up on them, which makes the kids think the dogs are attacking them. If the kids run, the dogs follow and jump on them because they think they want to play. Then their nails scratch the kids and the kids cry. This has happened time and time again in our home. We are hoping to break them of this behavior before our baby comes home. We've learned a few tools from this TV episode. First you get a life size baby doll and a stroller. Then you practice carrying the baby around the house; sit on the floor while holding the doll; pretend to feed it; put it in the stroller and stroll the baby...all of this around the dogs. This gives you an opportunity to correct the bad behavior before the baby actually comes home. We were sure our dogs would bark and jump up on us and the baby doll immediately.

So we bought a stroller, our neighbors gave us one of their baby dolls and we began the process. Sure enough, the boys were jumping up on us and barking at the doll. But interestingly, when we sat on the floor and held the baby, they weren't barking and they didn't try to jump on the baby...they just want to smell it and then they were sitting quietly looking at us. It's the craziest thing! The other night, we put the doll in the stroller and left it sitting in the kitchen with the dogs. One dog, BoaBei, showed no interest and went over to his blanket; the other dog, KuKi, laid down right beside the stroller and went to sleep. A few minutes later, he growled and then barked at the baby. We corrected him and then he went back to sleep. I'm not sure if he's barking because he expects the baby to be making noise/moving and he's trying to get some reaction...or if he's somewhat afraid of it, but whatever the case, they both seem to be fine with the doll and stroller. I'm sure when we have a baby that moves and makes noise we will have to do more correcting, but for now, the boys seems to be OK with the presence of a tiny human being. Our next step is to try and walk them outside with the stroller! Ugh. It's already impossible to walk them on their leashes. They are out of control.

This exercise has been hysterical for me because seeing Anthony walking around the house holding a baby doll and talking to it like a baby...well, it's funny! :)
The other night, I came running downstairs (and I knew he would try to act like he was sleeping in the living room) so instead of coming through the kitchen, I went around through our piano room. He was pretending to be asleep on the couch and I caught him peeking toward the kitchen to see me. He had the baby doll sitting up on the couch beside him! It was all I could do not to burst out laughing! I jumped out and scared him to death, which was also hysterical, but seeing him sitting on the couch watching the Yankees game with a baby doll (dressed in pink) made my night!!!! Maybe this puppy training is going to turn out to be more Anthony training than puppy related!

I've posted a picture of our 2 little devil boys. They are 3 years old and are cousins that were born 4 days apart. They were traumatized by a breeder/puppy mill situation and then also by the delivery service who brought them to NJ from KS to our home. They've come a long way with their bad behavior, but we are pushing them even further with the baby thing. :) Hopefully, they will accept our little one, and learn to behave around other kids, simply because there will be one in the house now at all times.

Tomorrow Jineen goes back to our new OBGYN to have her take a look at the umbilical cord cyst. We are praying that 1 of 3 things have happened:
1) It is gone
2) There has been no change -OR-
3) It has shrunk in size.
Any of these outcomes would be good news. I know many of you have been praying with us, so we will let you know what we find out tomorrow.

So Thankful for One

2009-10-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
So Anthony and I are beginning to 'baby-proof' our house. There are several 'big ticket' items, that have been lingering over the past 3 years for us to get finished, but we've been taking our time furnishing our new home. That being said, we are now rushing to get those things done so we can focus on a nursery! :)
For example, the glass top kitchen table is not attached to the pedestal base it sits on (very dangerous if there are kids in the house) so it is now in our basement and a big round wooden table is in it's place. We are looking for a new TV for the Piano room and have also just completed our 2nd guest rooms' loose ends! The biggest thing for me will be moving my awesome 2nd closet (in the nursery) into another room :( Sad for me.
We are very close to having the house completely done and then we will begin to focus on our baby's room. This entire weekend was focused on more shopping and finalization of house stuff. Fun, but I'm ready to be done with it.

When we first began this surrogacy process, Ant and I were really hoping that both embryos would make it and we would end up with twins. Now that I am over the initial disappointment of losing one of them, I am SO GRATEFUL and THANKFUL that it is just one!!! Jineen and I were talking one day and she asked me (through laughter), "Do you have any idea how many diapers you change in a day, per baby?" Of coarse I don't know, how would I know that?!?!? "12" she said!!! TWELVE! OK, so double that and we are looking at 24 diaper changes in a day with twins!!! Now, add driving from TN to NJ in a rental car with newborn twins, trying to feed them and change them....UGH! The reality of this has hit me hard and I have to say that I am so very thankful that we are only having one! God knew that He needed to 'break us in' with one baby at a time! HA :) It's so much easier, when there is just one baby, to pick out a name for or consider room colors and to plan around working schedules between the 2 of us. After all of our losses we've had, it is going to be very special that we can shower all of our love on our first and only child. I think we need it this way to help heal our wounds and to really grasp the enormous amount of love that we are going to feel for this little miracle. The first few months are going to be very special for Anthony and I. I am looking forward to spending that alone time with him and our little baby! :)

Checking In

2009-10-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

FROM SHANE:
So Jineen and Myla have been on me about posting another blog... so here goes. When people ask how Jineen is doing, here is my standard answer at this point: Well, all the weird stuff is done (shots, insertions, screwing with her cycle, etc.). Now, she's just pregnant.

Administering injections to Jineen was quite an experience. As you can see in the previous post, we're done with the shots. It's crazy... overall, we administered injections for a little over 2 months! Time flies. So that's my version of an update on the surrogacy.

Now for an update on me, personally. I have what the doctors call "a bit of a weight problem." When Jineen got pregnant with our first child, I really felt bad about the changes that were happening with her body. In an effort to be able to empathize, I gained weight with her. She was eating for two... I was eating to become two. Only one problem, I didn't feel the need to empathize with her when she was working to get the weight off... dumb!

Since then, getting the weight off and keeping it off has been a real challenge. I'm not the healthiest eater in the world. At the same time, how and what I eat does not translate to how I look. You would look at me and think, "Man, really good looking... yet he must eat every hour or so." And it's just not true... I eat less than most men... and oftentimes even less than Jineen. So, beyond the lack of motivation... beyond the lack of discipline... I knew there had to be something off biologically.

So, a few weeks back I headed to my doc and had my hormone levels checked. A couple weeks later I got the results. I KNEW IT!!! I'M A FREAKIN' WOMAN!!! Seriously, my estrogen levels her a little high... awesome... huge ego-boost! Also, my testosterone levels were EXTREMELY low. Wonderful! You know... the hormone that makes a man a REAL man. And not only low... men should be in the 800-1200 range. I was at 180. In fact, I'm not even a woman! Most women have more testosterone than me! The good news is this is totally treatable! So, I'm now taking a pill to block estrogen... and I'm applying a testosterone cream to my arm - the kind endorsed by Barry Bonds. It's been about 2 weeks, and the effects are definitely showing themselves. Sorry if this next bit is a little risque, but I have to be real and genuine and be true to my artistic integrity. So, I'm pumping my body with testosterone and Jineen has the pregnancy breasts going on. HOWEVER, she's in the 1st Trimester Celibacy Club... what a freakin' terrible combination!!!

On top of that, I'm starting a hormone treatment/diet plan this Saturday. I will be taking drops of hcg - a hormone produced naturally by pregnant women. Hcg literally melts fat and regulates metabolism. These drops combined with a robust 500-calorie diet can produce 1-2 pounds of weight loss PER DAY!!! Not only that, but it resets your body. So even though the drops and diet last about 50 days... your body will continue to burn. I can't wait. Prayer item: approximately days 43-45 run through Thanksgiving... nuff said! Okay, that's my update. I really will try to post a little more often to avoid novellas like this one.

Done With Meds

2009-10-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: So I finished my meds on Sunday! Yeah! I'm glad to not have to be poked and glad I don't have to worry about remembering more pills to take! I am excited to be discharged from the fertility clinic and going to a regular OBGYN now. I really liked the doctor I went to and love the facility so that makes it all the more comfortable! Now I'm just counting down the days for the first trimester to be over so I'm not nauseous and hungry all the time!
Looking forward to hanging out with Myla and Anthony in a few weeks. Seems like forever since we've seen them! I'm still sleepy a lot and not feeling very motivated but I'm hoping to get a burst of energy 2nd trimester! I'm so thankful this experience will be during the cool weather and beautiful fall, winter, and spring months!

Feeling Better about the Cyst

2009-10-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

Ant and I are feeling better, about this cyst thing, today. It is very small (5mm) and nobody seems to be too worried about it. I do want to get it checked before our next ultrasound (Nov 16th) because I think waiting 5 weeks, without observing it, is too long. Does anyone have any experience with Umbilical Cysts? We just have to stay focused on the fact that the baby seems to be growing, at a normal rate, and the heart rate is perfect 174 bpm, so that is very encouraging!

My mom told me that she was sick every day, all day, for 3 solid months when she was pregnant with me (of coarse, she wasn't sick a day with my perfect little brother)! This is an ongoing joke between Chip and I! :) So because of her experience, my mom thinks it's a girl! I agree that it's a girl, but we'll find out in Dec for sure. I think Ant will have a heart attack if the ultrasound tech says, "it's a girl"! This will be so fun for me!!!

Jineen was telling me that her son was initially wanting it to be a boy, especially since he has 2 sisters. But more recently, he's said that he doesn't care if it's a boy or girl because it's not his baby. How about that?!?! So grown up, that kid!!! He's only 7! I can't wait to see them all in November. It will be a ton of fun!

Jineen's oldest daughter got the lead role in her school play this fall. She is Maid Marian, in Robinhood, and we'll get to see her perform in Nov! I'm sure I will cry just because I'll see so much of Jineen in her while she's performing. It's gonna be great! I miss being on stage with Jineen; we used to have a lot of fun together back in the day! :)

Today's UltraSound - Need Your Prayers

2009-10-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

This morning's ultrasound was great news and also news that was a little scary. The baby is growing normally (almost an inch in size now) and the heartbeat is at 174 bpm, that is excellent news and news that gives us hope that the bad news is nothing. The bad news is a 5mm cyst was found on the umbilical cord. We are waiting for our doctor (here in NJ) to review the results and tell us what, if any, concerns he might have with this cyst. Many of these single cysts resolve within the 2nd trimester and are benign. In some cases, they are directly related to chromosomal defects with the baby, but since we've already had genetic testing done and we know there are no defects, this should not be the case with our baby.

Jineen went directly to see the first OBGYN, that we wanted to have a consult with, and she loves her! Her office is actually in the hospital that we want to deliver in and the Ultrasound equipment is right there. So thankful. Jineen loves her and feels very comfortable with her so looks like she is the one. There is a large group of NICU specialists connected to this hospital, so we are covered on any issues that could arise before/after birth. This doctor was not a bit concerned about the cyst, but we are still awaiting direction from our fertility specialist today...just to make sure he isn't concerned about it. Hopefully, it's nothing.

Please pray that this cyst IS nothing and that it dissipates within the next few weeks.

One funny thing that happened, during the ultrasound, was that Jineen said the baby looks like a little teddy bear now! So cute. My mind immediately went back to when I used to (and still occasionally do) call Anthony "Boo Bear". Not a term of endearment he particularly cares for, especially when his childhood buddies heard me call him that and began to call him "Boo Bear" too! Now we are gonna have to start calling the baby "Boo Bear" instead of "Peanut". It's just fated to be so. Sorry honey! :)

We all know that we have to trust in the fact that God is in control here and He is going to protect this little miracle...cyst or no cyst. So we are praying for peace and mercy...and good news! :)

Reducing the Meds!

2009-10-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

We received great news this week from RMA! We will be able to reduce Jineen's medications this weekend! She should be completely be done with shots by Monday. They will do blood work on Monday to make sure her body is making enough natural progesterone and if all goes well...the shots will stop. HOORAY!

They will also do the last Ultrasound that will be done by a fertility specialist. We will start seeing a regular OBGYN very soon. Jineen has found several that we want to visit and see if they are comfortable/good and meet our requirements. All very exciting!

Such a Miracle

2009-10-05T09:07:00.001-07:00

FROM MYLA:
This morning was our 3rd ultra sound since the embryo transfer. (4th if you're counting the Ultrasound taken the day of transfer). The baby seems to be doing fine and is getting big! These ultra sounds are a happy yet weird experience for Ant and I. Jineen calls my cell phone(I am at work), and then I conference Anthony in (he's away at a conference), and we are all on the telephone trying to listen to what is going on in the exam room, but it's very echo-y and distant. I find myself asking them to repeat what they said pretty often. I don't want to miss anything!

Today, the first thing I could hear Jineen say was "Oh my gosh" and then she laughed in dis-belief. She said the baby looked as if it had doubled in size since last week! This would explain why she has been so exhausted. The little booger is draining her!!!

We are all hoping that RMA will begin lowering Jineen's meds this week so that she will be completely off of them by next week. Those Progesterone shots in the rump are killer, that's for sure. I'm sure Jineen and Shane both are ready for that stage of this process to be over. I know I am; Every night around 10pm my stomach flips cause I know it's Jineen's shot time. :( {Nobody hates shots more than me.} Well, Jineen might be close to hating them as much as me...by this point. Ant and I were watching 'Get Smart' this weekend and there's a scene where Steve Carrell gets these little darts shot into his face; then he pulls them out by the strings attached and my stomach was flipping during that! I just can't take skin things! Anything that pulls, tugs, cuts into or damages the skin...I either get sick to my stomach or I faint (depending on the severity). Seriously. I need to get a grip.

Hearing that little heartbeat again today was the perfect start to my week. I've been sick in bed since last Tuesday, with some weird virus, so it's nice to start off this week on a positive note! We have 1 more Monday to go and then Jineen will most likely be released from RMA to see a regular OBGYN. She's been researching doctors in her area in hopes that we can find exactly what all of us are looking for in an OBGYN. For example, an ultrasound machine IN THE OFFICE. Nothing drives me crazier than a doctor who has to write you a script for an ultrasound and then you have to make an apt for the ultrasound and have a completely separate apt elsewhere! Not to mention a 2nd co-pay. It's a conspiracy. :)
We'd also like to find a doc who has the 3D ultrasound machine because you can see the dimensions of the baby and even facial features! So cool. When Ant and I go down in November we will be able to experience our first Ultrasound with Shane and Jineen! Should be a tearful moment!

Since this process began, we've been joking with Jineen about the foods she will crave during the pregnancy. We keep telling her she will crave the foods that Ant and I love, since this baby is made of our genetics. We weren't sure that it would happen but thought it would be funny if it did! I was positive she would crave tomatoes, as I couldn't eat or drink enough tomatoes and tomato juice during my pregnancies! She hadn't really started craving tomatoes...UNTIL THE PAST WEEK! Now she can't eat enough fresh salsa! Can you believe it?!?! She IS craving tomatoes!!! Definitely an Italian baby. (Or Mexican but I can't explain that one!) :) Pretty soon she'll be shoveling down homemade pasta with sausage and peppers! Hysterical.

I'm excited to find out what we are having. The doctors says we should be able to see between weeks 16 and 20. Ant and I both have said that we don't really care as long as it's a healthy baby and this is still the truth....but the pre-planner in me NEEDS to know! I'm gonna start decorating the nursery as soon as we get that news!!! This will make it so much more real to us! I wish my mom lived closer so she could help me. I would love to decorate with her; she's an amazing decorator and very creative. We both have an eye for it but I'm sure I get that from her! :) Maybe I can talk her into flying up to help me. Mom?!?!? :)

Reality of Being Pregnant

2009-10-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: I think I definitely forgot about some of the reality of how you feel when you are pregnant. First of all I feel so fat! I'm beginning to remember how fun that is! You don't REALLY look pregnant yet, so you just look fat...I swear I'm gonna creat a t-shirt saying: "No really I'm pregnant, not this fat!". I do remember being so tired and boy am I! I don't remember being this hungry all the time! I feel like I have to eat ALL DAY! It's fun but not so much when nothing sounds good to eat! Oh and when you are trying things on and either your big stuff is too big or your small stuff is too small-that's always fun! (And while you are trying things on you are having hot flashes-ugh!)
Despite all of the realities that aren't always pleasant, I am excited to be able to do this for Myla and Anthony. It's pretty weird for me to be walking around with someone elses baby inside me...crazy! It has been very cool to see and hear the baby on the screen, but also a little strange to think that it isn't mine. I think through this I am reminded to enjoy my own babies at their ages and a little sad that they will never be little babies again! I love watching them grow and seeing where God is taking them and anxious to see the way this baby effects their little lives.
God really is so amazing and it is unbelievable that this is even doable in this day and age. I am anxious to REALLY look pregnant and finally wearing maternity clothes and it will be fun to watch and feel the baby kicking. I'm so excited to give such an amazing gift!

The Heartbeat

2009-09-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Today was our 2nd ultrasound and not only could we see the heartbeat, we could hear it too! 119 beats per minute! Unfortunately, Ant and I have to be teleconferenced in to the ultrasounds...but that strong steady heartbeat is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I'm going to be in tears all day! Jineen's HcG levels are still at an amazing high for 6 weeks, 100,000. We still can't explain that one.
We did not see a 2nd sac, but that is ok. If a twin shows up unexpectedly, fabulous, but if not...God knows best and He knows what we can and cannot handle! I just thank Him for this 1 true miracle. (Reminder, we never saw or heard a heartbeat with any of our past pregnancies.)
Anthony was not as nervous today and after we heard the heartbeat he admitted that he was 'a little more excited' about the pregnancy now! That's a big step for him. I know both of us have our guard up and are trying to focus on the positives and not expect bad news. I know that God is creating this amazing story for a reason and I pray that at some point, all of us will be able to look back and see exactly what this story has done in the lives of our friends and family. Not to mention our little one!!! We know this story is much bigger than our little part in it.

I was worried about Jineen this morning. She just returned from Chicago, as they took a family trip there for Ava's (her oldest) birthday over the weekend. We knew she would be getting in very late last night. I think she got about 3 hours sleep, so she is exhausted. I hope that the sound of our baby's heartbeat gave her a burst of energy and a peace that will last her all day today! I'm also proud that our little one is already becoming a traveler...just like us!!! :) He/She has already been to Chicago and in December, will be in NJ, NYC and Buffalo! Jineen, This is so much fun! I love you!

I was having a discussion with my friend, Lauren (who is also expecting), at Liquid Church yesterday. She was telling me about the different ultrasounds and how exciting each of them have been for she and her husband. She talked about week 13 and how cool it was to see this little person totally stretched out, so much so that you can see the arms,legs, toes, fingers...I was just trying to imaging even getting to that point! The only ultrasound that was the least bit exciting for us was the first pregnancy that was 10 weeks but it was a molar pregnancy. I was quickly reminded that this is God's child, this is God's miracle and this is God's story. He isn't going to let us down, he is going to bless us with seeing those little fingers and toes very soon! Thank you Lauren for sharing your experience with me! And my friend, Alex, reminded me that God would not take us all this way to break our hearts again and that we should be joyful every moment of this pregnancy! She's right! I'm so encouraged by the dear people in our lives, who encourage us and speak strength and truth into our situation on a daily basis! Thank you all so much! You are literally all around the world and it's so touching to see the outpouring of happiness from all of our friends globally! Life is the same, no matter where in the world you live, and the miracle of life binds us together. :)

I think Anthony and I will be able to breath once we are through the first tri-mester, which ends November 5th. I've never wanted November to come so quickly! We are going to visit Shane and Jineen in November and we are hoping that we can get an ultrasound done while we are there.

It's a weird place to be when you know your baby is growing, thriving and real/alive...but the only reminder you have is a tiny black and white picture from an ultrasound machine, that you received in the mail. Crazy and un-real.
We are so thankful that God gave us a surrogate that we love, trust and know how she is living. We trust Jineen with our baby's life and we know she is going to be a fabulous surrogate mom, to this little one, as long as she lives. :)

Wondering about MTHFR

2009-09-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Some of you have asked questions, about MTHFR and how it will effect my health down the road; how we found out I have it and what exactly it does to my health. Here's the little bit that I know.

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN MEDICAL OR SCIENTIFIC DISCUSSIONS...SKIP THIS...YOU'LL BE ASLEEP IN 5 SECONDS.

MTHFR is a Genetic Blood Clotting Disorder that has been linked to miscarriage, heart/vascular disease, cancer (both in men and women), hearing loss, memory loss...the list goes ON and ON. 45% of Americans unknowingly live with it. Most likely, many Americans have unknowingly died from it's effects, through heart attack, stroke, aneurism...cancer. MTHFR can only be found if you happen to need genetic blood testing. Right now, in the US, Fertility Specialists are the only doctors who run these genetic blood panels on a regular basis. Why? Because fertility docs found a link between genetic MTHFR and repeated miscarriage. It is advancement, in the fertility world, that these blood tests are available, but even so...there is still a big problem with the unknowns of this clotting disease.
As I did more research on it, I was amazed that Cardiologists, Hematologists and Family Practice docs don't have this testing on their radars. It will effect anyone (male/female) who has the disorder, and could eventually take their lives. So why don't our everyday docs know about this? My Family Practice doctor had never heard of it! This is because it only popped up in the medical world within the past few years and only due to fertility issues. Mainstream medicine either holds no validity to the studies or has not heard about MTHFR as of yet. Let me explain.

There are 2 different strands of MTHFR(methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase):
C677T and A1298C mutations.

C677T: This is the strand that specialists 'know' cause miscarriage in the later stages of pregnancy(2nd/3rd tri-mesters). It's also linked to specific cancers (breast cancer being one) as well as renal disease, heart attack and stroke. Most all studies have been done on this 'most dangerous' strand, especially in the fertility world.

A1298C: This it the strand that I have and it is referred to as the "lessor" strand (or the strand that has no known damaging effects) and because this is the mentality, there have been basically no studies done on this strand. We DO know that it causes the blood to un-naturally clot, which can also be linked to Cancer, renal disease, heart attack and stroke.

To get a little more scientific, MTHFR Mutations are directly related to Homocysteine levels in your blood. If your levels are high (above 12) this is dangerously high and should be controlled with supplement. (Some doctors will tell you 15 is the dangerous number, but I tend to be more aggressive when it comes to treatment, just to be on the safe side, so I shoot for the recommended number of below 5). The supplements known to assist the body in fighting toxic homocysteine are: Folic Acid, Vitamin B6, B12 and Vitamin D. Who would've thought that a lack of these vitamins can do so much damage or literally cause eventual death? Well, the lack of these vitamins is a clear indicator that there is a problem with the body being able to produce and/or absorb enough of these supplements. Therefore, you have to find where that problem begins. For me, it began with high Homocysteine levels, caused by 2 strands of MTHFR A1298C mutation. I have 2 of this exact strand, 1 from each parent. How can we know that I got 1 strand from each parent when my parents haven't been tested? Genetically, you can only have 2 strands if each parent carries 1 or 2 mutations of the strand. Therefore, my mom has at least 1 strand of A1298C and my dad has at least 1 strand of A1298C...and that is the only way I could end up with 2 strands.

I began this process with a very high Homocysteine level of 11. I was put on 4mgs of folic acid, by my fertility specialist, to prevent miscarriage. I was on folic acid (and still am) the entire time we were going through all of our pregnancy losses. Obviously, folic acid was not helping us maintain our pregnancies. Our doctor did not check my B Vitamin levels or D levels. Once we had our frozen embryos and I stopped seeing the fertility doc, I had done so much research on MTHFR that I knew I had to have help monitoring my blood levels for certain things. I went to my FP doc, educated him on what I was dealing with and asked him to help me monitor my blood for: Vitamin B12, Vitamin B6, Vitamin D, Folic Acid, Homocysteine, and Iron. I also shared with him my theory on how this MTHFR Blood Clotting Disorder had effected my pregnancies.
I explained to him this: (Sorry if what I'm about to say is TMI but it is important to the story.) "Since I was a teenager, I've had very painful periods with heavy, black blood clots. When I say heavy, I mean just large dark clots. My mind kept thinking that if a little embryo is implanted in the uterine wall and my blood volume is trying to double every 2 days to feed it...but it goes to the implantation spot and CLOTS, of coarse I would miscarry. Right?!?!" Seemed logical to me. Seemed logic to my FP doc too. The specialist took no validity in the history of my periods and said that it had no effect on my pregnancies(?) but I couldn't accept that explanation. I'm glad I didn't because the action that we have taken to control my MTHFR has completely changed things for me.
My baseline (first) blood panels came back with high Homocysteine levels (still 11 - remember, Homocysteine is a toxin in the blood and you want it below 5 if you can get it there) and my B12 and D vitamin levels were way too low. (b12=494 and D=33.9). Interestingly enough, the Folic Acid level was at 24 which is high and that is good! The higher your Folic Acid levels, the lower your toxic Homocysteine levels. This is because the body can fight the good fight against Homocysteine with extra Folic acid on board. There is some argument that levels of folate that are TOO high could do damage, but it has not been proven as of yet.
My doc suggested that we start supplements of Vitamin D, Iron, and B12 shots each week.:( You all know how I feel about shots and at that point, I was done with shots. I requested that we go with a pill form and he told me that the body has difficulty absorbing B vitamins from the stomach. He felt strongly about the shot. I requested that we start with a pill first and then see what my next blood test revealed; if my body wasn't absorbing it, I would then try the injections.
8 weeks later, I went for my second blood test. AMAZINGLY, my levels were excellent! Folic Acid=24(same/great), B12=893(great) and D=85(great)! My body DID absorb the B12 pill and I didn't have to start B12 shots! But the coolest thing of all was that I knew everything had changed before I even took this test. How? My period had totally changed. I had no idea that I'd never know what a normal period looked like, until now. In the 8 weeks of taking these supplements, my periods went from heavy, black and clotty...to lighter, bright red and ZERO CLOTS!!!! Now you tell me, think that MIGHT have a little something to do with all the miscarriages? We can't be sure, but we DO know that the blood in my body has completely changed and this will protect me from future heart attacks, strokes and vascular disease. It has also helped my memory loss(forgetfulness), hearing loss and I'm praying it lessens my risk of any MTHFR related cancers! :) I will be on B12, D, Iron, prenatal Vitamins and Folic Acid for the rest of my life. It's about 8 pills a night. Anthony and I joke and say that I am worse than an elderly woman in an old folks home! My nightstand is filled with prescription vitamin bottles! So funny!

This education has also helped my dad, as he has started taking these supplements as well. He had forgotten that he had to take B12 injections as a kid, until I told him that my doctor has suggested them for me. He couldn't remember why he had to have them, but he did have to have them. Who knows what the issue was back then, but it could have been linked to the MTHFR strand that he has never been diagnosed with having! It's going to be a miracle when modern medicine can actually prevent/heal diseases based on the genetic make up found in a simple blood test. We already do it for several medical areas and now MTHFR is uncovering a link to many illnesses/diseases that could potentially be avoided if we could understand how to control it better.

A word of caution: You should never try to manage supplements or any vitamins without the assistance of your doctor. An overdose of certain vitamins can be very dangerous (such as vitamin D) and you have to have your blood monitored regularly. So please don't take it upon yourselves to start a vitamin regimen of this caliber without help from a doctor.

I truly believe that the MTHFR blood panel will eventually be added to regular/routine blood work in years to come. It is becoming the latest medical mystery that seems to have 'blood' specialists interested in how it can or can not affect diseases. If you Google MTHFR, you will find tons of studies linking MTHFR and high Homocysteine levels to scary illnesses. Homocysteine does more damage than we truly know and it will be a medical break through, at some point in the future, if they are able to link all of the disease connections and control this harmful toxin.

For Sweet-Patient Shane

2009-09-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Shane, I just want to publicly tell you how precious you are to me. Thank you for being such a Godly, supportive and loving husband (to Jineen). Thank you for your willingness to go through this journey with Jineen and participate by learning how to administer injections and give them to Jineen, every single night; for traveling to NJ whenever needed; for taking time off from work; for going to doctor appointments with her (thank you for being at the first ultrasound yesterday!); for going out in the middle of the night to find cheese/broccoli soup; for encouraging Anthony that it's 'OK' to get a little excited about this; for taking the verbal lashings when unwarranted {i heard last nights over the phone!:)}; for allowing your kids to experience this gift of love that you and Jineen are giving to us...
YOU, my friend, are a freakin' awesome husband! I'm so thankful for you and for your love for Jineen and for us. I can't wait to see you in November and again, in NYC, in December. We are gonna have loads of fun with the kids!!!

Let us know if you need to escape any time over the next 8 months. :)
Love, Love, Love.

Ultrasound

2009-09-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
So we went for the ultrasound today. Even though I've already had three babies...it was still just as exciting to see the amniotic sac on the screen a fourth time. I have to admit I was a little bummed to only see one, but still waiting to see if God surprises us with any more! God has His perfect plan for Myla and Anthony and my body...so I am excited to continue to see how it all plays out! I am feeling good. Mostly I'm just feeling tired and a little light headed, but not much nausea so that is awesome! Can't wait til next ultrasound!

First UltraSound - Healthy Gestational Sac!!!

2009-09-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
September 21,2009 - Our first ultrasound was this morning and all of us were a nervous wreck waiting on this day! Jineen went to the clinic with Shane (sweet husband) and our friend, Roxy Blomstrom, for her routine blood work and ultrasound. She is exactly 5 weeks and 4 days today and we were expecting to be able to see the gestational sac and yolk today. Jineen called my cell phone and I conferenced Anthony into our call. So all 6 of us (including our tech, Donna)were able to be present for the ultrasound. It was the first of many teleconferences to come and it was such a feeling of relief to be included for the first time!

Sure enough...a perfectly placed (high in the uterus) perfectly shaped gestational sac and yolk were spotted via ultrasound! We were thinking we might see 2 sacs today, based on Jineen's HcG levels last week, but 2 were not seen today. There is a slight chance that a 2nd sac could pop up within the next 6 weeks, as in many cases, the sacs could mirror each other and 1 could be hiding behind the other, making it look like 1 sac on an ultrasound. HOWEVER, we are feeling so grateful and blessed that we have a beautiful, healthy baby being created and we know that God will give us exactly what He has planned!!!

We are awaiting the call today, from our NJ Clinic, with blood work results and our next step. If everything continues as smoothly as it seems, we will have 3 more ultrasounds over the next 3 Mondays and then Jineen will be released from our Specialists care to a regular OBGYN.

Already, Jineen is further along in this process than Anthony and I ever reached, in all of our pregnancies. Even in our 10 week pregnancy, the yolk sac/pole were never seen. We are so happy that our baby can be seen and to know that God is blessing the growth of our precious little bundle!

THE WAITING IS KILLING US!!!!

2009-09-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA AND ANTHONY:
We thought the waiting for the all day appointment was bad enough. Then there was the waiting for the transfer. THEN the waiting for the pregnancy test results! After that, the waiting for the first AND second HcG levels! NOW we have been waiting for the first ultrasound. The waiting never seems to end! We have been happy with every single outcome and we know that whatever the ultrasound reveals tomorrow morning, it is what God wants for our lives. I was asking Anthony the other day if he was hoping the ultrasound would reveal 1 or 2 sacs on Monday and he said, "I am happy with whatever God gives us". We both feel this way, after all we've been through, just to have a healthy baby will be such a blessing in our lives. I will say though, I've always felt that we would end up with twins...so there's a little part of me that's hoping we will see 2 sacs sometime over the next 4 to 6 weeks, if not tomorrow. Jineen also thinks it will be twins! We will soon see and the waiting will be OVER! :)
Until tomorrow...

Flu Fight - H1N1 and Pregnancy

2009-09-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

H1N1. What more can I say? We've only had 1 flu season with it and now we have begun a 2nd season that has already taken lives. 1 in particular that was close to home. A family friend in WV died 2 weeks ago due to complication with pneumonia. This was a secondary virus, as he tested positive for H1N1 but died from pneumonia. They didn't test him for H1N1 until it was too late. Mike was the first WV resident AND the 1st health care provider in the United States to die from Swine Flu. He was a nurse.

To Quote the medical examiner:

"People with underlying medical conditions who contract any form of the flu are at a high risk of death," said Dr. Harry Tweel, director of the Cabell-Huntington Health Department. "(The person who died) tested positive for H1N1. It could be a co-factor for death."

What does that mean? It means a sniffle, fever, cough, chest cold, shortness of breath...anything that makes you think "I just don't feel right today" should prompt you to go have a rapid flu test done. Unfortunately, we are now living in the day and age where a common cold or little flu bug can now kill you. We can't get our heads around it because we've just never seen it happen before.
There is so much hype on the Internet about the media over-reacting and that drug companies are just trying to 'cash in' on this scary Swine Flu that it is literally effecting the way doctors are treating swine flu symptoms! It's causing more of a 'lack of reaction' from the doctors than an 'over-reaction'. I don't know about you, but I would rather have a simple nose swab, and be alive, than be stubborn or think I am OK and be dead 2 weeks later. It's already happened to someone that we know and love. It can happen to you and me.

There are so many misleading articles on the Internet about the H1N1 vaccine that is coming out and it is impossible to know exactly what to believe or to even decide exactly what you are going to do about the vaccination. If you are ages 6 months to 24 years old, pregnant, a health care worker or a child care provider...you are going to be on the Govt Issues list of those people who are at HIGH risk of death from H1N1 exposure. They are going to recommend you receive the H1N1 vaccine.

To clarify a few mis-representations of the vaccine, this American Vaccine IS NOT cell based. No animal cells are being used to create the vaccine, so there is no risk of cancer related to animal cells. There are MANY types of H1N1 Vaccines being created around the world right now and all of them are made differently, based on the regulations of that specific country. If you read an article from Canada or Germany or Australia,or any country for that matter, please keep in mind...these are doctors who are talking about vaccines, in their specific countries, and what their concerns are for that area of the world. It may or may not be relevant to you, living in the United States. The US vaccine is egg based and it is the exact same flu vaccine that we have been using in our country for 20 years. The only difference will be that this special Swine Flu vaccine targets specifically H1N1 and, unlike the regular Flu Vaccine, is not made up of a handful of different flu strands. So the vaccine is just as safe as the flu shots you've been getting your whole lives. There is also concern over traces of mercury being in the vaccine (Thimerosal) and according to news reports, the 'single-dose vaccination will not contain Thimerosal.
I personally have never received a flu shot and have only had the flu 1ce in my life, (while living in NYC)so why would I consider having the H1N1 vaccination this year? Because I am prone to chest colds, bronchitis and sinus infections...all secondary viruses that have been linked to complications (pneumonia/bronchitis) with the end result being death, for those who were already carrying H1N1 without symptom. Why would I take that chance? I won't. The only problem I might have will be actually having access to getting the vaccination. I am not in the high risk group and if the vaccine is gone after vaccinating those on the high risk list...I may not be able to get one. :/
So what can we do at that point? The CDC has recommendations for lowering your risk of getting H1N1 on their website. I personally have canisters of the Lysol (kills flu) wipes in every room of my house and in my office. I don't touch a door knob or sink nozzle without one in my hand. We have already had 2 scares in my office and are still waiting on confirmation from the most recent scare.

The flu season is in full swing, in TN, and Jineen has been exposed to several cases if A+Flu (H1N1 related) and the doctor DID NOT treat these children! Even her daughter has had a child in her class who has been sick with Swine Flu and has been out of school. We are very concerned about this and here is why...

Another 'underlying' medical condition that could result in death with H1N1...pregnancy. All OBGYN's recommend that their pregnant patience get the regular Flu shot because a fever during pregnancy can and will do damage to the thriving baby, especially in the early stages of development. There has already been a pregnancy death, related to Swine Flu, in the US. A 33 year old women, 35 weeks pregnant with shortness of breath. That's it, shortness of breath was her only symptom! I would consider that normal in my last month of pregnancy! She was hospitalized, emergency C-Section was done to save the baby and the mother did not make it. She died from lung complications which came on after her hospitalization. All of these cases can be reviewed online and you can get H1N1 recommendations from the CDC website on how best to protect your family.

www.cdc.gov/H1N1FLU/

Jineen is 5 weeks and 1 day today and she called this morning to tell me that she has the sniffles and occasional chills. She doesn't think she has a fever. She is going to be tested,for swine flu, this afternoon and we are praying that her test is negative. Please pray with us that she is fine and that she is not exposed to H1N1 during this pregnancy. We are praying for a safe and enjoyable pregnancy without harm and WITHOUT SWINE FLU!

UPDATE:
Jineen's rapid flu test results were negative. Thank God. We are going to continue to pray that she is supernaturally protected from this deadly virus.

Getting to Know Shane and Jineen

2009-09-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: Well I'm going to write a little about Shane and I since lots of you know Myla and Anthony but you don't know us. Shane and I met in college. He is from Indianapolis, Indiana and I am from Buffalo, NY. We got married in 1998 and got pregnant with our daughter six months later. She turns ten next week. Wow! Double digits-hard to believe! Shane was a painter and I worked a little until I had my daughter. We lived in Indy for a little over eighteen months and God called us back to Lynchburg, Virginia where Shane would be working with the ministry LIGHT that we used to sing and travel with. There we had our son who is now 7 and a half. We lived there for almost two and a half years and then knew we needed more income. So we had a job lined up-or so we thought, and moved back to Indy. We lived with Shane's parents for six months and Shane worked at Fed Ex-3rd shift-not ideal at all(needless to say the job we thought we had lined up didn't work out) and still not enough income. God opened a door for us to move to Louisville, Kentucky where Shane would be working with a Youth Ministry(which went along with his degree). We were excited and ready to start anew again in another state. Well only 5 months after being there, God had another plan. Shane was let go and they really didn't give him a good reason as to why. Very strange. So here we were with a three year old and one year old not knowing what the heck we were going to do. We prayed and sought the Lord. We got a phone call from my brother in law Darrick who said he knew a guy who would let us live in his place for free while we transitioned...this was in Fort Myers, Florida! We prayed and it seemed like this was our best opportunity and God gave me a very specific verse that gave me peace about this move... so we moved to Bonita Springs, Florida and lived in a little condo for a few months. Shane got a job in sales and it looked like things were looking up! I got pregnant with our third daughter who is now 5 and a half and then Shane realized sales was not what he was meant to do. We moved once again while in Florida because now the condo we were in was being sold. Now we were in Ft. Myers...hated that apt, but it was only for seven months and we moved again into a brand new duplex in Lehigh Acres, FL. Ahhh ok-finally we were settled! Or so I thought!
Meanwhile Shane had been working in the middle school youth with my brother in law and really enjoying it. He was beginning to sense God calling him into that full time. Once again the search was on for where God was leading us. I was excited but really getting sick of moving-obviously! (Especially with three children under four!) God opened a door in Springfield, VA where Shane became youth pastor. We moved again and we were there for a year and really weren't happy. We definitely didn't gel with the kind of ministry and mentality at this church. God was once again preparing us for another transition!! That job ended and we were really very thankful!! God rescued us and we moved to Nashville to be apart of a church plant that my brother was planting! Thank God-we have lived in the same state now for 4 whole years! Unbelievable...although we have moved four times since being in Nashville-how insane is that! I'm worn out just telling you about all our moves-sheesh!! Shane got an amazing job with Dave Ramsey here in town and he's been working with him for almost four years! We are so glad to finally be in one place and not moving from state to state! While we were in Virginia we decided we were done having more kids. Who knew I'd be having someone elses? That brings us to our lives currently and what God has put together for us with Myla and Anthony. God taught us so many things through all those moves and crazy job situations. He has always provided for us and taught us what faith really looks like. We have learned to be flexible and so have my children and learned when God calls or moves you go. I guess that's why when I read on Myla's post that day about praying for a surrogate, I felt no hesitation in telling her I would do this for her. God has brought me to this place and taken me through this crazy journey to bring me here. I am looking forward to this next chapter and being apart of this story He is writing!

Annette's Prediction

2009-09-17T08:48:00.001-07:00

FROM MYLA:
So our friend and neighbor, Annette(across the street), has predicted twins! She just gave birth to twins this year (identical baby girls)and said her HcG numbers went sky high very quickly...just like Jineen's! Very exciting!!!

She said, "How cool is it going to be to have 2 sets of twins on the street?" I replied, "Very cool, unless ours are both boys and then the 4 of them begin sneaking out together(at night) once high school starts!" We laughed and predicted that our husband's will be at each others' throats! Just a little humor at the future of our neighborhood. Beware neighbors!
BTW, Jineen is feeling Nauseous today! She begins week 6 tomorrow and that's right around nausea time. Perfect!

That Prayer from January

2009-09-16T12:48:00.001-07:00

FROM MYLA:
After our last Invitro Surgery, last January '09, I began to pray the same thing every night. "Lord, please just give us 2 healthy embryos, we need 2 for this to work...so at least 2, or more, if it's Your will." "2 or More"
If you remember, that first phone call from our Doctor to discuss the test results, he literally said, "This is gonna sound strange, but there are 2 healthy embryos and possibly more." I'm sure I looked like a deer in headlights when I said, "Did you say - 2 or more?" "Yes, I did. I have to re-run 4 panels that were inconclusive but I think there are 2 more!" Not only was that prayer answered but it was revealed to us in the exact same words that I had been praying!

As we are waiting on the ultrasound day, to see how many babies might be there, I am reminded of this prayer....2 or more. They say, be careful what you ask for...and although I was so happy that my prayers were answered back in January, now I'm wondering if God is going to continue to bless us with...2 or more RIGHT NOW! Holy crap. I didn't think that far ahead! Can we handle more than 2 at once? I think I know the answer to that question! Can I amend that prayer or clarify that I meant: 2 now and 2 later will be sufficient? (hee hee hee) Monday can not come soon enough!!!

Getting to Know Myla and Anthony

2009-09-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Many of you know either Jineen/Shane or Me/Anthony, and then there are a few of you who really only know Jineen and me...so we've decided, in the 'in-between' moments of this journey, to share our earlier stories with you.

Those of you who know me know that I moved to NYC to get over a terrible divorce that I was going through in early 2000. I had only been married 14 months but around month 6 found out that my X had Bipolar Disorder and he had become violent in our home. My christian counselor, after 6 months of sessions, finally told me that I needed to get out of that house for my own safety. I asked God for confirmation that He approved of my leaving this marriage... and AMAZINGLY, He gave it to me instantly! That's a whole 'nother story, but pretty awesome that God answered me immediately. I asked Him to show me physical evidence that He wanted me to leave and within 2 minutes, I found it hidden in the ceiling of our new basement bathroom. So of coarse, I left that moment and never looked back. I had a permanent restraining order put in place and moved from NJ to NYC to start over and get back to myself again.

I had become a very confused and insecure woman in that year of marriage. I'd always wanted to move to NYC but didn't think I could afford it, yet after pricing apartments in Jersey I decided it couldn't be much more expensive in NYC so I made a plan to look at a few apartments in the city. I would go to meet with a realtor for the afternoon and if I didn't find an apartment I loved, I would stay in Jersey. Plain and simple. I took the train into NY alone and walked to meet the realtor that I had started a friendship with over the phone. He literally showed me only 2 apartments before I knew I'd found THE ONE. As soon as I walked in the door of that 19th floor high rise, I noticed that I could see the crosses (on the tops of the 3 steeples) of the Croatian catholic church beside the building. The floor to ceiling windows exposed those crosses to me from every room in my apt and I knew that God was telling me, "This is it, the place I have for you and here is where I will remind you of My love for you and bring peace back to your life." I moved in 2 weeks later. Coincidentally, the name of the building was "The Victory" and thus I felt as if I had won. :)
I spent 2 years in that building. The first year I just wanted to be alone. Don't get me wrong, I talked to everyone and I made friends quickly but never wanted anyone to know which apt I lived in and I definitely didn't want to date. I wanted to have fun and start a new life. I was given a nickname pretty quickly after moving into the Victory...Myla Mayor. I didn't get it at first, but then one of my friends explained...because I talked to everyone in the lobby and the elevator and I knew practically everyone in the building, that I was sort of like the building Mayor! So funny! Strange that New Yorkers think it is so weird for someone (that they see every day) to say hello to them in the elevator! I was a pharmaceutical rep for Johnson and Johnson, at the time, and my territory was NY so it was good for me to be living in the city and not having to fight traffic every morning.

On a more private note, I spent 2 years in my new apartment battling with terrors/nightmares and trying to get over that 14 months of marriage that had done so much damage to me. Due to my divorce, I lost my job with J&J shortly after my move (they offered me a 'package' so I took it) and I decided that I didn't want to find a job right away. I didn't even look for a job for 4 months and I spent those months sitting in my NYC apt window looking down at the hustle and bustle of city life 19 stories below me. I just needed a break; a new perspective; I needed my life back. God knew I needed that time with Him and He was working in me and in my life far beyond what I was expecting in that NYC apartment building. The minute I began looking for a new job, I had one... and the rat race began! I will forever treasure those 4 months of peace, alone with God and Little Ling in my fancy new NYC apartment!

It was 4th of July, when my mom and step-dad came to visit, and I'll never forget that day. We were standing on the rooftop deck of my apt building, which was on the 47th floor. We could see the 4 different fireworks displays that were going on all around the city; it was spectacular. Dave, my step-dad, pointed up to the 48th floor and asked me who lived in that apartment. (There were 2 penthouse apts that you could see in to from the roof-top deck). I told him it was an elderly Asian couple and that they were very nice. He said, "You are going to marry the man that lives in that apt." I said, "No I'm not, it's an elderly Asian couple!" We laughed and I never thought about that conversation again, well not for another 18 months.

You see, because I was so nervous to really let anyone get to know me AND I never wanted to get married EVER again, all of the doormen there knew that and protected me from anyone who would ask questions about me. They knew never to tell anyone where I lived, they had a copy of the restraining order and a picture of my X and they became like brothers to me. It was a small dysfunctional family, but I loved it! :) One of the doormen I became close with, was Eddie. He was very protective of me. When Anthony Papariello moved into The Victory, he and Eddie became buddies too. Out of the blue, Eddie told Anthony that he had to meet this girl that lived in the building. He told Anthony that she (ME) would be a perfect match for him! They plotted a plan to have Ant standing down at the front desk around the time that I came in, from work in the evenings, so he could get a good look at me and meet me. That night, I was SO tired. I remember dragging myself up the hallway, from the garage where I parked my car, to the mail room. I knew I had to walk Ling, my little 11 year old Pekingese and then I was going to go to bed. Eddie stopped me as I walked past the front desk. "Hi Myla." "Hey Eddie"...I didn't even look up because I was reading my mail and heading to the elevator. "Hey, I want you to meet my friend Anthony." Most likely, I rolled my eyes (with my head still down), as I turned around and headed back to the front desk. "Hi Anthony, I'm Myla" shaking his hand. Now, I know for a fact that I was just not myself yet, because this would've been the time that normal Myla would've thought..."Oh, He's cute" But that thought didn't even cross my mind. I just wanted to see Ling and go to bed. Ant tried small talk with me and I obliged. He told me that he and his roomie where having a big party and that he would like it if I would come. I told him that I had a trip to Costa Rica planned but thanked him for the invite and I headed upstairs. Didn't think twice about him or the party.

4 weeks passed and my trip to Costa Rica was cancelled due to a court date that had been rescheduled. I was really bummed about that one. I rolled out of bed early one morning, threw on a hat, to cover my bed-head, and took Ling downstairs for a walk. As I walked out of the elevator, there was Anthony standing at the front desk talking to Eddie. I pulled the bill of my hat down over my eyes and for the first time said to myself, "Oh no! There's that cute guy!" He said, "Hi Myla". UGH, he remembered me! I HAD to talk to him now. I forced a smile and we chatted as he played with Ling. I asked him how his party went and he told me that it was in a few weeks. He asked if I was ready for my big trip to CR and I told him it had been cancelled. He asked if I would come to his party and I reluctantly told him I could. He wanted to give me an official invitation, so I would know which apt he was in, so I told him to just leave it at the front desk with Eddie and I would pick it up later. (that is the NY thing to do. Never tell them where you live, just leave the messages at the front desk!) I walked Ling and when I came back in to the lobby I ran up to Eddie and said, "What was that guys name again?" I had forgotten!!!! He laughed and said,"Anthony", knowing that he had secretly planned this whole thing! I made up a song of Anthony's name (so I could remember it) and started singing it as I walked to the elevator. Eddie was laughing at me, of coarse! 20 minutes later, guess who was knocking on my apt door! ANTHONY! I wanted to KILL Eddie! He broke the pact and told a guy what Apt I lived in! I wanted to strangle him! What if this guy was a nut like the last one I got stuck with? Well....HE WASN"T! He was the kindest man I had ever met and I don't remember a dull moment with him! We spent the next 2 weeks hanging out, going to dinner and talking on the phone. I found out that we sorta were in the same business, pharmaceuticals. He was a Pharm D (doctorate of Pharmacology) and was a Regional Medical Scientist for GSK. We had a lot in common when it came to work and personal interests. It was becoming really fun getting to know Anthony. He told me that he needed some help getting ready for the big party and I told him I'd be happy to help! So I headed to the elevator and pushed the number '48' for the first time. "48th floor, hmmm, that's the penthouse floor...cool." As I walked into the apartment and starred at the amazing view of Manhattan from 48 stories in the air (you could see all the way downtown, the statue of liberty, the empire state building...amazing) I realized that I was standing in the same exact apartment that my step-dad had joked about 2 years before! I looked down at the roof-top deck, at the exact spot, where Dave and I had been standing, when he said it ('You are going to marry the man that lives in that apt.') and that conversation was running through my mind. "NO I'M NOT, IT'S AN ELDERLY ASIAN COUPLE!" It terrified me to be standing there, in that apartment, at that moment! I did not want to be married again!

It was time for the big party and I knew I could not go to this party alone. I called my girlfriend Jenelle and asked her to PLEASE come over and go with me. I had been telling her about Ant for several weeks but she hadn't met him. She instantly loved him the second she met him! We weren't even at that party an hour and Jenelle turned to me and said, "You are going to marry this guy!" I said, "Jenelle, I don't even know him, no I'm not!" she just said, "yes you are." I spent the next few weeks running away from Ant after that conversation! Even the first night he tried to kiss me good night, standing in front of the elevator, I ran into it and pushed the 'door close' button, like I was 12 years old! We laugh about that one now.
Just to thicken the plot of God's story in bringing us together, let me tell you how Ant got to the Victory. He had just purchased his first house in Nutley, NJ and was living there alone. Out of the blue, a friend called him up and said, "Let's move to the city together for a year." Anthony couldn't stop thinking about it. There was some weird draw for him to move to NYC, even though he had a mortgage to pay and didn't want to sell the house. His family thought he had lost his mind! "You don't buy a house and then downsize to a Manhattan apartment 6 months later!"
It only took them 1 day to find the Victory as well! The second Ant walked into the penthouse apartment (the the elderly Asian couple,unbeknownst to me, had moved out of it 4 months prior) he said, "We'll take it!" They too had only seen several apartments before deciding on the Victory. Amazingly, neither of us had any idea how IMPOSSIBLE it is to find a good apartment in NYC. A co-worker was shocked when he saw my 19th floor apartment. "How long did you have to wait for this gem?" I had no idea what he was talking about! I told him that I didn't wait, I waltzed right in and had the apartment within the hour! He laughed and said, "THAT NEVER HAPPENS! I have been on a waiting list for an apartment, for 4 years, and still haven't gotten in!" I walked in to the Victory and within an hour had a deluxe apartment in the sky...and had NO IDEA what a Godsend it really was at the time. Neither did Anthony. We just went with it; went where God was leading us and we ended up in the Victory! Amazingly, Anthony paid both his mortgage and his NYC penthouse rent for about a year and had no clue what God was preparing him for! Most everyone thought he was crazy but he had 1 purpose of being in NYC...to find me. God knew I needed him and he sent Anthony to find me. I had a lot of 'victories',both personally/professionally and spiritually, during my time in the Victory. That address will always hold a very special place in my heart.

The rest, as they say, is history. We've spend every day together since then and 3 1/2 years ago (May 2006) Jenelle stood beside me as I married the man that she predicted I would marry, on the beach in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico! :) God had restored my life, my faith in Him and in relationships and all was good in Myla's world!

I lived in the city for 5 years total. Ant and I began looking for a place to buy and came close to buying a condo in a high-rise on 42nd street but then quickly came to our senses when we realized that 1.3 million for a 1200 square foot condo was ABSURD. What were we thinking?!?!? We had outgrown that place before we ever considered moving in!!! NYC mesmerizes you and you think you can never leave! Seriously! We both got sick to our stomachs at the thought of moving out of the city and NJ WAS NOT an option for me! I promised myself I would NEVER go back to that state again. Interestingly enough, I had begun asking God to restore the kindness in me that I had lost since moving to the Northeast. Living in the Mid-Atlantic region of the US teaches you to love people and to be kind/help others, with no expectations of anything in return....the Northeast teaches you that people here think you're crazy if you say hello to them on the street (they will most likely tell you to go F yourself) and when you're driving OR WALKING through NYC,as a resident, all you want to do is KILL TOURISTS!!!! I couldn't walk through Time Square without getting angry and I certainly couldn't drive through the city without my blood pressure going up and wanting to run over the stupid people who decide to walk across the street when they are not supposed to!!!! Clearly, I wasn't myself! My job required me to drive in NYC every single day and I was beginning to realize that 5 years of that had changes me drastically. I'd begun asking God to help me get that kindness back because I felt so mean and stressed out all of the time! Well, you know what they say, never say never. Here I am...in New Jersey. We found the perfect brand new house only 2 miles from Ant's mom and we fell in love with it! We've been here since November 2006 and we love it so much! We have 2 new little Pekingese puppies (Ling passed away 4 days before we moved into our home. He's buried in our backyard) and plenty of room for a big family, which is what we loved about our house. It only took a year to really get rid of all that built-up NYC rage and learn to be kind to everyone again! I talk to random strangers now, everywhere I go, and I love that they talk back. Today in a parking lot, I saw a man park, get out of his car, look at his park job, get back into the car and back it up a little more....I was walking to my car and when I got there, he looked at me and I said,"perfect!" We laughed and he walked away. Just the little joys of being able to do things like that are so joyful for me. I love interacting with people! In NYC, people don't want to talk to you, in fact, they barely look at you. It's an interesting place and very addictive but we are so happy to be out of the rat race of the city and in a normal town where we can relax in our back yard and enjoy the silence! I even have a garden! Grandma Keaton would be proud of my Big Boy and Better Boy tomatoes!!!

Ant and I were only in our new home for a year before we began trying to start our family and well, you know where that road has taken us! Jineen and Shane are helping us to fill these big empty bedrooms with our own little babies! What a blessing.

That is just a little glimpse into my story with Ant and how God really did miraculously bring us together in NYC. Neither of us thought we would meet our spouses there...we were there to have fun and forget the past for a year or so...but God had a different plan! :) This is just one perfect example of why I have learned to wait on the Lord. He has taught me, many time in my life, that His plan is always better than any plan I can come up with!

You might be wondering why Anthony has not blogged yet. Good question. Anthony works his fingers to the bone as he's still with GSK. He's a very private man and sitting down to pour out his feelings on a blog...NOT his cup of tea. He has promised me that he will blog at least 2ce on here before the baby(ies) are born! In the meantime, I will fill you in on how he is feeling about the situation and little bits of things that he shares with me throughout this process. Just yesterday, when I called to tell him that Jineen's HcG levels were at a whopping 1796, he sighed and said, 'Oh, now I can breath!" He's been deeply hurt by all of our losses and I think he still has that wall of protection up for now. Once we are past the first tri-mester, I think he will be able to relax, be joyful and enjoy every moment of this incredible journey that God has the 4 of us on. He is thankful for Shane and Jineen and is blown away by what God is doing in our lives! Will he tell you that, probably not...but he'll tell me and I'll tell you! :)
Good night.

OH MY WORD!!!!

2009-09-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: Wow! How is it possible for my levels to be 87 on Thursday and already be 1796 on Monday...well once again God is showing up! I think he's smiling a lot through all of this! He is sure showing off and I love it! So when Myla told me that, I'm thinking...HOLY CRAP! Am I having four babies? You know these two that they transferred could split right? Oh my goodness! Well God knows what we all can handle. It will sure be interesting to see what He has in store. Once again we wait...for the ultrasound on Monday- I hate waiting!

What Happened in the year 1796?

2009-09-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
History, Ah, my favorite subject....NOT. Although some news that I received today reminded me of history class. Remember those old sayings..."In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue."? Well today I was reminded of this old history rhyme when the nurse called and said the words, "Seventeen hundred and ninety six". Why is that number significant? It's Jineen's HcG Levels, which went from 87 (Thursday's number) to a whopping 1796!!! For those of you who know anything about HcG levels...that's pretty darn impressive for 4 days! I promised Jineen I'd let her blog about the news today, but I had to share with you that coincidentally, in the year, 1796...Tennessee became a state! Isn't that interesting? Just a random thought...."Deep Thoughts By Myla" :)

For those "Medically Minded" Peeps out there...

2009-09-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
By now you know that our embryo transfer was successful and Jineen is pregnant!!!! It's been one of the most emotional weeks yet and she's only 4 weeks! This is going to be some journey.

So you want to know how an embryo transfer is done? The process of invitro is split up into many procedures: Egg retrieval, washing and hand picking healthy Sperm, fertilizing the eggs to create embryos, a 3 to 6 day waiting period for the embryos to mature then the embryo transfer day. We had an extra step in there, PGD, which I'll tell you about in a minute. There are really only 2 of these procedures that you personally can be involved with...Egg Retrieval Surgery and Embryo Transfer. Both of these procedures require you to be in the Operating Room and under a fertility specialists care.
Egg Retrieval:
You begin taking several shots and oral pills for about a 3 week period. This combination of drugs calms the ovaries, forces follicles to mature faster than normal, which in turn makes eggs mature faster. By the time of the retrieval surgery, your ovaries are so swollen that you feel like you have 2 grapefruits in your gut and you just want it to be over with! You've also had 3 belly shots a night and 3 days before retrieval have begun the Killer....progesterone in the tush. :( I always loved that one. The process of that shot alone is crazy because you have to numb the spot for an hour prior(there are only 2 location in the behind that you can give these shots and you alternate cheeks each night) then give the shot, walk around for a few minutes afterwards, heat the area with a heating pad and massage it at the same time so that the very thick progesterone oil will melt into the muscle instead of clumping there and leaving a painful lump. It's a lengthy process, but it's better than the alternative of just administering the shot and then having a very sore and painful hiney for 8 weeks! Anthony always drew the progesterone into the syringe, ran it under really hot water (to thin the oil) and then gave me the shot. He had to do this a couple of times for Jineen when she was here for transfer. Jineen and I got a big kick out of that, but Ant was not humored! :) Anyway,for retrieval, you have to go under, so they give you an IV, walk you into the OR, you get up on the table to get situated and then you're out. They have to put you under because of the invasiveness of the procedure. They take a very long needle and they go through the vaginal wall (through the muscle) to the ovary. They can see all of the matured follicles/eggs in each ovary and they retrieve as many of the eggs as they can. They do this on both sides, so both ovaries are pretty sore. You wake up with a very sore abdomen and it stays sore for about 3 days.

Because we had PDG testing done to our Embryos, I didn't have to do progesterone this time. We had our Egg Retrieval and fertilization done at the end of January, so our embryos were frozen, in order to wait on the PDG Test results. So our 'Invitro" process stopped here for 6 months while we waiting on test results and then prayed for our Gestational Carrier (surrogate).

PGD Testing:
This testing is amazing and not many people know about this new test. Our Doctor is a world leader in fertility and created this test which allows you to actually know if the fertilized embryos have genetic defects that are going to keep them from becoming healthy babies. This way, you are not wasting time and money transferring embryos that are going to miscarry. In PDG, they wait until day 6, after the eggs have been retrieved and fertilized, then they take 1 cell from each embryo (for testing)and then freeze the embryos(cryo-preserve them). Those cells are sent to a lab where they are looking for missing chromosomes or too many chromosomes, either of these defects will keep the embryo from becoming a living baby. If you remember, our doctor told us that all of our losses were due to genetic problems, but we had never done PDG testing on them and we wouldn't accept this reasoning for our losses. So we decided to do this last Egg Retrieval and have each Embryo PGD Tested just to see if they were all bad. As you know, we ended up with 4 very healthily little embryos (2 boys and 2 girls) and that's when we began praying for a carrier.

Embryo Transfer:
To complete our 'Invitro' process with Jineen, she basically began taking the meds I would've taken to prepare for the Embryo transfer. She had 1 belly shot for 3 weeks, along with some oral meds, and then the progesterone shot to begin preparing the uterine lining for transfer. Her lining was at an amazing 12 in thickness, which was so great! On the morning of the transfer, you go in for the last blood work and ultrasound, just to make sure your hormones and lining are still ready for the afternoon transfer. Then they begin to thaw the frozen embryos. Once they have been thawed the transfer time is given and you show up and begin drinking lots of water to fill the bladder. Our clinic uses ultrasound to guide the catheter so the bladder must be filled for the best ultrasound reading. The procedure is very easy. It's sort of like having an annual Pap, but less invasive. They put a very thin catheter into the uterus, then they place the catheter into the glass dish with the embryos. They embryos are in a separate room, with the embryologist, because embryos are extremely delicate and even things like perfumes or deodorant can kill them. You have to come showered with no hair products, deodorant or cologne/perfume. if you've ever been in a recording studio, you know that the producer sits behind a glass window and watching you in the studio from a separate room. This exactly what the embryologist does during a transfer. She then sucks the embryos into the catheter and in less than a minute, they are in the uterus and it's over! We had to wait a minute for the embryologist to check the entire catheter to make sure that none of the embryos were stuck in it and once she yells "Clear" that's it!!! It's completely painless and almost hard to believe when it happens, because you feel like nothing happened. Medicine is so amazing. God is so Awesome!!!

Several of you had asked if the procedure was painful for Jineen and neither of us thought to explain how the procedure works! Anthony and I did the first step of Invitro (the egg retrieval with PDG testing) then Jineen did the 2nd procedure of Transfer and Pregnancy. And the rest, as they say, is history!

Wow! Am I Really Pregnant!??

2009-09-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: Unbelievable! I am pregnant! How crazy is it that I am 4 weeks today and have only been "pregnant" for 9 days Too weird!
I got the call today around 12:05 and the nurse, being from NJ-without any emotion, says...looks good it's positive! Whew! I breathed a huge sigh of relief and was so excited! I really would have been shocked if I wasn't. After everything God has done so far...I had to believe that He would once again reveal Himself in all of this...and He has! I know He will continue to because that really is the reason for our being and for this story! All the glory goes to Him! Praise you Jesus for your love and faitfulness to us!
So...I called Myla and acted as if I was just calling to see what she was doing. She answered with a hesitant, "Hello?" I said "Hey! What are you doing? She said, "I'm driving" and seemed to kind of laugh. I said, "Oh, well, I'm pregnant!!!" She screamed and cried and tried to talk through the tears! I was laughing! We were so amazed at God once again. I told Myla...you know God was probably chuckling at us all morning with our impatience. I pictured Him with a huge smile and little chuckle saying, "You girls...if you could only understand how much I really love you both! You are so funny and impatient and I love you still in your impatience! Just wait for what I am going to do!" We quickly got off the phone and called our husbands and lots of other people....it was so amazing all the texts and messages of excitement and encouragement we've gotten from friends and family all over the country! Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support. We can't wait to find out now how many are growing...I think at least two....God does things in BIG ways so I believe He will continue to bless both of these embryos that are growing inside of me! Please continue to follow our journey and pray with us as we wait for God to continue to reveal the next chapter in this story! Love to you all!

Crying My Eyes Out

2009-09-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm crying my eyes out! I don't think I've ever cried this much over something that is GREAT news! My face looks like I sat in front of the bathroom mirror and picked at least 100 zits on my face! It's splotchier than ever! :)
I have been calling everyone I know because everyone I know has been praying about this for 2 years!

I am amazed at God's story in our lives and I can't wait to see how He is going to use these little blessings!

So now you'll have to follow this blog for the next 8 months! :)

KNOTS!!!

2009-09-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Today has been unusually stressful. My tummy is in knots! Waiting all these days to know for sure that the transfer has worked and our babies are healthy and growing is KILLIN me! I can't believe in 2009 we don't have the medical ability to know of a pregnancy faster than this! Ok, IT IS a 'small' medical miracle that we can even do this, SO....I guess the waiting is going to have to be OK! :)

I received a message from an old college friend, Jody, who shared a verse with me last week. I hadn't had time to look it up, but I took the time to do that yesterday. Perfect timing for this week:

Psalm 46:10 - "Be still and know that I am God."

I was filled with peace... and laughing at the same time. Thanks Jody! I've been quoting it all day today because I am unusually filled with anxiety. I think it is because I have been here so many times before and the news has not been good news, so I'm scared at the possibility that this could happen again tomorrow. I know that God is in control and that He has taken the 4 of us through this journey for a very specific reason. Already we have each grown in different ways and it has changed us permanently. I can now see clearly how God has intended for us to really bond together, as Christians, and help one another in ways that most would consider crazy or 'uncomfortable'. We are lazy Americans; we want what we want, when we want it...NOW!I still fall into that trap, as you can see from my complaint of 'having to wait' in the above paragraph. I'm not the most patient person in the world, that is for sure. We have all been raised to expect things to happen immediately and we can pretty much have whatever we want, when we want it, especially with credit cards. When it comes to matters of faith, we become impatient and 'fussy' when we don't get the answers we want. It's difficult to accept that God's timing is not always our timing. (In my case, God's timing is NEVER my timing.) I've been taught that lesson over and over again. Vernon Brewer has said many times, "God is seldom early, but never late". I have reminded myself of this every day this week and I know that if this one isn't God's timing, that there IS still time...His time. God is in the details and I have to wait on His time. Although, it seems like this IS His time, I know there is a possibility that maybe it's not. I'm holding my breath until tomorrow and praying that it IS!

Lessons I've already learned:
This experience has taught me to see giving through God's eyes. God's idea of giving shames our ideas of giving. Going to church on Mother's Day because Mom wants us to go; tossing an extra $20 in the offering plate; a meal for a family who's lost a loved one; dog sitting for the neighbor, taking someone to a doctor apt that has no car....all nice things, but are they God sized?

Here's the unimaginable:
How about several thousand dollars to a ministry (like Charity Water) that gives millions of people clean drinking water so that they can live past the age of 24 without worms and deathly disease. How about giving that old car, that you never use, to the person who needs a ride everywhere they go. How about catering food to the family that lost the loved one for a week,a month or putting together a schedule of people who will cook for them for a week each, so that they are fed for several months in a row. How about taking in the neighbors dog in to your home, so they don't have to worry about him being alone at home. How about...giving birth to your friends baby.

"Rejoice and be exceedingly glad; for great is your reward in Heaven"

The past 2 years have been tough for Anthony and I, but we are rejoicing in the fact that God has 'given' us Shane and Jineen to 'gift' to us our children, the most selfless thing anyone could do for another. How could we ever be selfish again? We can't.

The Waiting Game

2009-09-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: So....we wait...and wait and wait! I am going crazy today! Everyone is dying to know what will happen Thursday! What will the results be? I am definitely feeling pregnant-lightheaded and sleepy and queasy....all good signs! I keep thinking about what we will feel if it's not the result we want...but I am believing with all of my heart that God is going to continue to do an amazing work here in our story. One way or another! If we have to do another round of meds and do it again...well then we will, but I believe God is going to make it happen the first time! He is so much bigger than any of this and it's reasurring to know He sees the big picture and He has our best interests at heart! I am trying to wait patiently, but it is very hard! Can't wait to find out for sure! Please continue to pray that God will honor the desires of our hearts!

The Most Amazing Week of Our Lives - Transfer Week

2009-09-07T08:23:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:

I realize that I have been 'monopolizing' the blogs this week, "sorry". I'm trying desperately to catch up with Jineen's blogs, so I can blog real time! I'll take care of that right now.

We had 4 weeks to wait until the transfer. Jineen began her Lupron shots (in the belly) and Shane did a great job at giving them to her! She wasn't feeling the stick, just the itchiness afterwards. I'd forgotten about that, but Lupron is very itchy! She also had to take several oral pills (I think, Estrace, BC, and Medrol) all to calm the ovaries and help the body to thin the uterine lining. Lovely thought, I know. Every blood draw looked really good with Jineen. The only 'small' disappointment we had was as we got closer to our Sept 1st date, her lining wasn't as thin as they wanted it to be, so we had to wait 3 extra days to see if it thinned more. Fortunately, it did, and Jineen was able to catch right up to the med cycle by taking double Estrace per day. We were still on track for the Sept 1st transfer date!!! :)

There were a couple of very interesting 'EVENTS' that happened during this time. Have you ever realized that the path you were on was so obviously what God intended, that you recognize little things are happening around you to take you off of that path or to discourage you? We saw this blatantly through this last 6 weeks. One week, in particular, was really bad. My cousin, who had been living with us for 2 years, had fallen off the bandwagon and was back on hardcore drugs. After drug testing him and finding needle marks in both arms, we had to make a very strict and difficult plan to get him out of our home...not an easy thing to do. So that was the beginning; then Jineen was confronted, by a friend, who spoke false prophecy to her and really caused Jineen to be confused, discourage and even a little afraid of what we were doing. Sometimes, spiritual attacks come from people you love/trust, and they have no idea they are being used as a tool to take you off of your God path. I am so thankful to Jineen's father, brother and husband, who all spoke truth to Jineen and were able to relieve the fear and confusion. The Bible says that fear and confusion are not of the Lord, so that was the 1 statement we began to cling to as these little attacks continued. Next, Jineen text' me to say that Jamie's son was rushed to the hospital with a back problem and that he had been unable to move and then on the SAME DAY, Jineen's little girl, Leyla, fell off the monkey bars and broke her wrist in 2 places! On our end, I was having a very difficult week at work and was also dealing with concerns with our worship band at church and then Ant and I began fighting over little things that just didn't matter. (We never fight and especially over petty issues.) It was just one thing after another! Just a few days after little Leyla broke her wrist, she was accidentally hit across the face with a kids golf club and had a black and blue cheek/eye! Ok....SERIOUSLY! I can't tell you how mad I was getting that Leyla was getting picked on and tortured to try and distract us from our path. Jineen and I agreed that we had to pray this away and that is what we began to do. Things began to calm down over the next few days and the attacks seems to have vanished. Thank God.

August 31, 2009 - We had a car pick Shane and Jineen up at JFK and they arrived at the house around 8:30 pm. It was so great to see them again and we had all been so excited awaiting transfer day! We had a very early morning the next day so we headed to bed.

September 1, 2009 - TRANSFER DAY! We had to get up at 6:30am to go to RMA this morning for the last ultrasound and blood work before transfer. We were all starving, so we headed to breakfast this morning, at the Ritz Diner. Everyone had a yummy meal, well, everyone but Jineen. She accidentally took her doxicycline before she ate anything, so by the time breakfast came, she was completely nauseous and had to go sit outside of the restaurant! We left quickly and headed home. Jineen and I sat in our backyard hammock and waited on the call from RMA. It was a gorgeous fall sunny day and we just talked and reflected on how this entire thing came to be. Then, the call from Renata came! Renata is one of the OR nurses at RMA who I really grew to love over the past year. She told us that everything looked good and that we were to come in for transfer at 1:15pm. She said both embryos survived thawing! I looked at Jineen and said, "THEY SURVIVED!" We just started tearing up! I don't think I've laughed and cried at the same time, ever, as much as I have since I began this process with Jineen!

I know Jineen has already written about this day, but I have to tell you, from my perspective, what this day meant to us. You see, Ant and I had been in this same OR/Recovery Room with the same nurses and doctors many many times. This is the place where the panic attacks happened; where I hugged everyone in site after coming out of anesthesia; where I made Anthony sing to me (he chose Bon Jovi Songs). Our outcomes, in this place, were never good. So to be back here, with a new hope, was such a breath of fresh air. I actually felt like I was breathing spring air in the recovery room and the laughing and joking just kept on happening! It was the first time I'd been there and was having fun! It truly was a new day! :)

And so it began, Jineen had the bladder ultrasound, then laser acupuncture and then we were waiting for Dr. Scott to do the transfer! We were the first transfer of the day! Shane was cracking us all up with his new victory dance, and I think Dr. Scott may have caught a glimpse of it as he was coming to take us to the OR! So funny Shane!

Shane and Jineen went into the OR first, so Jineen could get situated, and then Ant and I stepped in a minute afterward. The room was dim with relaxing music playing and the 4 of us were there together about to experience an amazing moment. They showed us the 2 little embryos on the screen, as Jineen and I held hands. We both had tears streaming down our faces but no one really said a word. We were all speechless. Dr. Scott has an amazing bedside manner and a soothing voice that would make anyone comfortable. He talked us through the few steps he was doing and then before we knew it...the transfer was complete! They rolled Jineen back to the recovery room, as we wiped away tears. It happened so quickly that it didn't seem real. She had 1 more laser acupuncture treatment and then we were done! Wow. Now we have to patiently wait, for 9 days, before the pregnancy confirmation blood work is done. I've never been a patient person, so this is gonna be a tough one for me.

I think it's gonna be tough for Shane as well, because on the morning he left for TN he told Jineen, " I don't know how I'm gonna wait until Thursday!" How cute is that?!?! He headed back to Nashville on Sept 2nd. Jineen stayed with us through Sat, just to make sure the flight pressure didn't cause problems during the embryo implantation stage. We had a great time of visiting, eating, shopping for maternity clothes, eating, napping, eating, looking for surrogacy/pregnancy books at the bookstore, eating, watching TV, more eating....it was 4 days of gluttony!

A few days after the transfer, Jineen and I were getting ready to run a few errands and she ran upstairs to get her purse. We have a large staircase in our home and Jineen began running up the steps toward her bedroom. I could hear her from the kitchen...I jokingly yelled, "NO RUNNING!". Jineen started laughing and said, "Oh! I was bouncing too, Oh no!" I laughed and yelled back, "NO BOUNCING!". We'd been given strict orders from Renata (OR nurse) of what Jineen could NOT do for the next 2 weeks. The only exercise-type thing she can do is walk. There was a whole list of other things, but it's hard to condition yourself to 'walking' up steps when you normally hop up them quickly every other day of your life! We got a good laugh out of that one! "No running!" "No Bouncing"! :)

Unfortunately, we did experience yet another day of what seemed to be more attacks. It was Thursday and we had been dealing with yet another friend, whose words had been used to discourage - instead of encourage, causing stress. Wouldn't have been as stressful if she'd just accepted that it came across discouraging, instead of defending herself over and over again. Ugh. :( Sometimes a simple apology works best, even if you didn't mean for your words to come across the way they did. That's what I would have done, but that never happened. Disappointing and hurtful.

I also got news that a family friend had passes away from the swine flu/pnuemonia. The first case in WV and he was only 51 :( It's been a shocking day for me all around, as I felt stabbed in the back by a friend and then the loss of this family friend... why was this happening this week!?!?!?! I was mostly concerned about the effects it might be having on Jineen. We again, quickly realized it for what it was, and began praying these negative issues away. We have to have peace through this process for the little babies that Jineen is carrying! We can not allow any foothold to come and cause any problems, especially now. We are praying that God will protect the 4 of us from these negative problems and help us to rise above, staying focused on the path He has placed us on.

September 5, 2009 - Jineen is going home to Nashville. Bummer. I've been dreading this day all week. We've had such a great time and her body had been changing all week! She already looks pregnant. She's got all the symptoms: heartburn, hiccups, gas, bloating, dizziness, exhaustion...she said "It just feels like something is going on down there!" She has had 3 children so she is pretty sure that the transfer has worked and she is pregnant! We just have to wait for the confirmation on Thursday and then a few months later to find out if there is 1, 2, 3 or 4. (Lord help us). We only transferred 2 embryos and we are praying that both make it, but there is always that less than 1% chance that 1 or both split, so we are really hoping that we get only the 2 that were put there in the first place! :) Not that we wouldn't be happy to have 3 or 4, OMG, but I would never want Jineen to have to go through a pregnancy carrying 3 or 4 babies for us! I am confident that God knows what He is doing here, so I am not going to worry.

We didn't want Jineen to leave so badly, that we 'accidentally' missed the flight she was scheduled to be on! Seriously, we'd completely forgotten about the US Open going on and the fact this it was a holiday weekend, so Long Island Traffic was bumper to bumper. :( Delta would not accept her luggage, even though she had checked in online the night before and still had 35 minutes to catch the flight. We were all pretty upset by it, but we turned a bad day into good by hanging out in Garden City for dinner and Carvel ice cream! :) Jineen left on the 8:30pm flight to Nashville and made it home safely to 3 happy children and a husband who were all very eager to see her!

As we dropped Jineen off and drove away, I got really choked up. I was trying not to cry but Ant asked me if I was ok and just lost it. "Jineen is leaving and she has our babies, I want her to stay." He quickly reminded me of the fact that we did this with Jineen because we trust her. A song that Dawn Jones recorded with Mission came to mind, Psalms 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all of thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding; but in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path". This immediately stopped my tears and I just thanked God again for my precious friend Jineen. I can not wait to see how He is going to use this story to change our lives and possibly the lives of those who know each of us.

God Sent Jineen! This is SO MUCH FUN!

2009-09-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
That Sunday phone call came, as I sat in my backyard, on the hammock, in gorgeous sunny weather. Jineen and I were laughing and crying. As we began sharing the lessons of our Sunday mornings, we realized that God had given us several little confirmations all morning. The break down went something like this:

Jineen's confirmation:
"I've had goose bumps all morning because Jamie's sermon today was on Giving Big!"(Jamie is her brother and also the pastor of her church. I know him from Liberty University, the school we all graduate from, and have known him, and his wife, longer than I've know Jineen). He was talking about how God sized giving usually takes you out of your comfort zone but the reward is better than any other gift you can give! She was sitting in church thinking about the discomfort of pregnancy/labor (thus being out of her comfort zone!) and how amazing it was going to be to see our faces when she hands us our little baby(ies).

Myla's confirmations:
At Liquid Church, we were finishing up a Dave Ramsey series on Financial Debt and the last message was also about God Size Giving and how amazing and fun it is when you can give 'BIG' to someone, financially, without having to worry about your own debt. There was a video clip of a couple from Franklin, TN who were going through Dave's Financial University and they were telling their story about how this couple, from their church, had changed their lives with a huge financial gift. The interesting thing was that the couple gave them the exact amount of cash that they needed to be able to pay off their debt and adopt a baby! That was their goal after the debt was paid. The reason this story is so amazing is that the church couple had adopted children throughout their entire marriage, but were getting too old to continue adopting, so they decided to help other couples adopt through financial gifting! Well, of coarse, I was a mess, because of all we had been through, including the adoption consideration, so it was very touching for us. I leaned over to Ant and said, "the interesting thing is that this couple is from Franklin, TN...that is where Shane and Jineen live!" As I was telling Jineen about this message, we were laughing and crying and she said, "I've heard that story! And by the way, do you know who my husband works for?" I didn't, but I couldn't believe her response...DAVE RAMSEY! It was like a shock of electricity went through my body. Jineen went on to tell me how excited she was to do this for us and how cool it was going to be...she had no idea that we were saving a bundle of money to give to our surrogate for this gift that she would be giving us. When I told Jineen about the money, she was in shock. Seriously?!?! We could really use that money in so many ways! She joked that maybe she would just use it for a tummy tuck, after the delivery, but the seriousness of it all is that God knows their financial needs and He also knows that Anthony and I can bless them with this return gift of love. How amazing is that?

Jineen began asking me how the process works and what the first steps are, so I told her that she would have to (1) call RMA and have them mail her the GC paperwork, (2) Make an Apt with her OBGYN for a physical and for her the fill out the consent form (3) call all 3 hospitals that she'd given birth in and request that those medical records be sent to RMA for our doctor to review and (4) Have the legal contract created and have 2 separate attorneys review it with us. I'd been warned, by RMA, that this process can take up to 3 months, so I was gearing myself up for a 3 month wait. Jineen wasn't going to accept that. The next morning, she called RMA, called all 3 hospitals and had an apt with her OBGYN for the following week! Amazingly enough, all 3 hospital records made it to RMA within 2 weeks, the OBGYN was encouraging to Jineen and told her what an amazing thing this was that she was about to do, then signed the consent form with NO PROBLEM, and all the paperwork had been filled out and returned to RMA! 2 WEEKS, PEOPLE. That in itself was a miracle, especially getting very old medical records from 3 hospitals in 3 different states! The next miracle was that my brother, Chip, had drawn up the contract so quickly, that we were able to sign it, with the Notary in NJ, then get it to Jineen and Shane to review with their attorney within the 2 week period! They have a friend, who is an attorney, and she offered to review the contract with them at no charge! Seriously, the fact that we both had attorneys who were not charging us, saved us about $6,000. All of these events happened so easily, that we knew we were on God's path. He was blessing this process so incredibly and we were so excited! The next step was the All Day Appointment in NJ at our Fertility Clinic in Morristown.

August 4, 2009 - Shane and Jineen have been visiting with us for several days now. It's been 4 years since we've seen them and it had been about 8 years, before that, that I had seen them! It has been the most enjoyable 4 days; we have enjoyed NYC and the summer weather; we've laughed and cried and been amazed at God's Hand in this story. On Sunday, they came to our church and the Liquid Worship Band/Staff circled around us as Tom prayed over our situation. They had all been praying and following our story over the past year, so it was wonderful that they could meet Shane and Jineen in person!

It was the day of our All Day appointment. We got there at 8am and were whisked away to the Counselors offices to fill out paper work, take psychological exams, meet with the nurses, turn in our legal contract, and have FDA blood work and urine samples taken. Shane and Jineen also had to take a class on the injectable meds and learn how to administer them. By the end of the day, our counselor told us that she has never seen a woman (Jineen) so perfect and so ready to be a carrier, as Jineen is! She said she had no concerns with the 4 of us moving forward with this and that we were the only couple, she's ever seen, be approved so quickly! They actually scheduled our embryo transfer date (Sept 1st), we ordered the injectable meds and Jineen was to start the shots 2 days later! AMAZING. After struggling through this process first with K, I don't think Ant and I could even believe it was happening! Just a huge answer to our prayers. Shane and Jineen are every single thing that we prayed for in a surrogate and the fact that she is a dear friend/someone that I traveled the world with singing and doing missions work....SO MUCH FUN! This is truly going to be the most amazing year of our lives.

A Stranger Carrying Our Baby, No Thanks.

2009-09-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
The thought of someone else carrying our babies was hard to imagine. We started doing a lot of research on the Surrogacy Program at our fertility clinic and it all sounded good..until I asked the cost. Are you sitting down? Seriously, you will fall out of your seat when you hear this one....$95,000!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, we are not looking for a new home, just our own baby. When I heard that price, I knew immediately that this was not going to be an option for us. There was no way we could afford $95,000! It was like a punch in the stomach to me. How could this be? Why would God give us these 4 precious babies and then not allow a way for us to bring them home? I knew there was no way He would do this to us now, not after the past year, so I just had to have faith that His plan would be revealed to us in His time. Ant and I began talking about how we could make this surrogacy thing a reality and we just didn't feel comfortable with some woman (that we'd never met before) carrying our babies in the first place, now add paying $95,000 and that made us both laugh out loud! These poor desperate couples that are struggling with this, as we have been, are just being taken advantage of and being ripped off in the surrogacy process! (Attorney Fees, Court Costs, HUGE payment to the surrogate...and more) It's just crazy! It was obvious to us that the only way this would work would be for a friend or family member to do this. Now....how do you ask that of someone? For real. We began praying for this specific woman:
A friend, whom we love and trust; someone who has the same faith as we do and who lives like we do; someone who enjoys pregnancy and someone who could really use the money that we were going to be able to offer to them.
2 friends stepped up right away, but were medically not allowed approved to carry for us. Amazingly, it was only a week until a very young and very special friend offered to carry for us and she seemed perfect! It was really going to happen!

March/April 2009 Continued - A precious moment, a dear friend of ours (K) offers to carry our babies! She had seen us go through this entire process and she had watched me go through the losses and depression. She called me many times to check on me while I was on leave from work and the fact that she had offer to carry for us was amazing! I just cried and cried. She was only 24 and had already completed her family with her handsome husband (4 children). Her take on our story was that she would love to provide the wonderful gift of our babies, after seeing all we'd been through. She was everything we'd prayed for and was much younger than we thought she would be. It was just perfect. A little too perfect, but I was trying not to be skeptical but thankful instead.

May 2009 - Anthony and I met with K, and her husband to talk through how this works and work out any questions or concerns each of us had. The meeting made it real for us all and we decided we were going to move forward with it. We went to meet with the surrogacy attorney and we were still in a little shock about the price and the process. It wasn't going to be the $30,000 bill that we expected, so we were very happy about that, and the paralegal was giving us tips on how to cut corners and save money...always good. The biggest cost was the contract and it just got under my skin that we were going to be paying the attorney $3,000 to do a standard 'fill in the blanks' contract that the assistant would most likely handle. Our attorney DID NOT want us to do this with anyone in NJ due to the lack of legal legs to stand on, but we knew K and we knew she did not want to keep our kids! Our attorney reluctantly agreed to help us through the NJ process. I didn't want to pay her $3,000 to put together a contract, that wasn't even legal in NJ, so I called my brother, Chip. Chip is an attorney in WV and with a little assistance from him, we were able to put together a contract pretty quickly and we were on our way with the legal side of things. I love you Chip! :)
On the medical side, there was a ton of paperwork that had to be done and K was having difficulty getting the birth/delivery records from the hospitals that she had given birth in. This was only the first step. It just wasn't happening, even though she was calling daily. We didn't see it as a stumbling block at the time, but the next issue was K's OBGYN. She had to be examined by her OBGYN and the doc had to fill out an approval sheet for my doctor, but her doctor didn't feel comfortable with this. She refused to actually sign the approval sheet because she did not want to be responsible for anything bad that might happen to K during the pregnancy. She also would not fill out the form in it's entirety because of her concerns. See, in the state of NJ, surrogacy is not protected by the state. What does that mean? Basically, any legal contract for surrogacy, is not supported or honored by the state of NJ, so if the carrier decided that she wanted to keep our babies...SHE COULD! Ant and I understood this and would have never begun the process with someone that we knew would take our babies, so we were comfortable with it BUT, OBGYN's, in NJ, freak out about this. This lack of NJ state support keeps women from having surrogacy relationships here, so it is foreign to them. This was the issue with K's doctor; she had to go to the doctor twice before she was able to get this accomplished! That's pretty hard to do when you work full time and have 4 very young kids! I was beginning to wonder if this would be too much for K but she was so excited and so ready to get this started. It was so encouraging for us. Our clinic told us to just send the half filled out form that K's doctor gave her and they would accept it. It seemed to be such a struggle. Then out of nowhere, a family matter took K out of the process..for now. The situation she was dealing with was going to take several years to handle and the emotional stress of it would be too great for her to be able to handle this pregnancy right away. I knew this immediately, but she was still wanting to move forward with the surrogacy. About 6 weeks later, she began to think maybe in September she could move forward with us, but again, I knew the emotional stress of what she was dealing with was going to be too great for her to be a surrogate. She also began to realize how impossible it was going to be. Anthony and I had put the whole thing on the back burner because we didn't want to pressure K in any way. We wanted to help her through her family issues and again, 6 weeks went by before Ant and I began to discuss our problem. We were back to square 1. What do we do now? We were so sure that God had given us K to go through this process with and now it was looking like that was not going to happen. We realized that we had stopped praying about our journey once God gave us K. I suggested that we just start praying again for God to show us His path in all of this. So I went to my computer and posted a status request on my FaceBook page: "Myla and Anthony are asking their friends to pray with them about their surrogacy situation; it doesn't seem to be working out." We got ready for bed and turned out the light....and then that little familiar beep...a message on my Blackberry from Jineen :) I was sure she was just encouraging us to keep praying and that she would have her small group praying for us. That's not what she said at all! Her message read:
"Am I too old to do this for you? I think it would be so cool to do this for you!"
My response:
"No you are not too old. Seriously, J?"
Jineen:
"Yes, I think it would be amazing!'
It was late and we agreed to call each other after church the next day! I was so tired, but so excited to talk to Jineen that I could hardly sleep. I had no idea what was about to happen in the next 12 hours that would completely change our lives.

It's A Wonderful Life

2009-09-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

FROM MYLA:
Ok, for those of you who think Jineen has been making this ALLLLL up...I really do exist! I finally have time to sit down and start blogging. Jineen is here with us this week and we are having a ball (in between her nap times). So much has happened and we have been saying for months that we have to journal/blog/film...but it just hasn't happened, so trying to remember all the details of how God has put this amazing event together may be difficult.

Jineen has already told you how we met and what our history together has been. It's so amazing how God has brought us together again for this experience! Hopefully we won't be singing LIGHT songs for the next 10 months. :)

I just keep thinking about this fact: when I was a little 4 year old girl, in WV, little baby Jineen was born in Buffalo, NY and her little life was literally going to change my life...34 years later. Wow.

Let me give you a little background on how my husband, Anthony, and I got to this point in our lives:
November 2007 - We found out we were pregnant with our first baby. We were so excited about the pregnancy, but it only last about 10 weeks. We miscarried on January 1st, 2008. Happy New Year. This was the beginning of what would be a heart wrenching year for us.

February 2008 - Our first appointment at the fertility clinic. After weighing our options, we decided to go with Artificial Insemination, which is a more natural way of getting pregnant with just a 'little' help from the doc. It would happen in March. Through the genetic blood testing that we had to go through, we found out that I have a genetic blood clotting disorder called MTHFR. Told it wasn't a big deal so we didn't realize, at this time, what a big deal it truly was going to be for us.

March 2008 - Artificial Insemination procedure was a success! We were rejoicing that it worked, but again, lost this pregnancy, 4 weeks later, in the worst way.

April 19, 2008 - Ectopic Pregnancy. Literally almost died after bleeding internally all day. Hemoglobin was at 7 and I was yelled at by the doctor at the hospital about having a blood transfusion. For some odd reason, I wouldn't let them give me the transfusion without first hearing the side effects of a blood transfusion! :) I was so high on drugs that I didn't even realize the danger that I was in. They gave me the transfusion and then the doctor came in to tell me how he was going to do the procedure. He told me that he was going to put a camera through my belly button....yes, I said belly button. He went on to tell me the rest of the procedure, but I couldn't get past the camera through the belly button part. I was remembering how much I liked my belly button and that I didn't want an 'outie'. I let the doc finish his story and then I said to him, "Doc, I have an inny belly button...when you're finished, could you make sure it is still an inny." I crack up at that now, but at the time, I was so serious! Ha!
3 hours later, the emergency surgery (to remove the left fallopian tube and pregnancy) was over and I found myself in the recovery room telling Ant that I shouldn't go home because I didn't think that was a very good idea. Thank goodness I have a husband who knew better! The next day...devastating. Recovering from this surgery, both physically and emotionally was rough on us. We decided to take the summer off and just allow my body to heal while we prayed over what God might have for us in the area of pregnancy and babies. This was a special time for Anthony and I because we grew so close during this time. The fact that I almost died really made Ant and I appreciate each other and realize that every moment in life is a blessing because it can be over with, in an instant. I was pretty weak for the first 30 days after this surgery, so Ant was literally having to assist me with everything. He had to help me out of bed, carry me to the bathroom and help me do my business, bath me, help me move in bed at night, give me my pain meds...It was quite a bonding experience. I realized in these 3 months that I had the greatest husband in the world and that he was going to take great care of me for the rest of my life. Even in this difficult moment, God was showing me the blessings in my life.

September 2008 - We met with our doctor and told him that we never wanted to risk another ectopic again, so we needed to know what our other options were going to be. Basically, we had 1 option, InVitro. I was terrified of InVitro and was hoping that this would not be something I would have to do but it was becoming evident that it was our only choice. So the shots began and after 3 weeks of 3 to 4 shots in the stomach every night, steroids and hormone pills as well as going to the clinic every 2 days (at 5:45am) for bloodwork and internal ultrasounds...the egg retrieval day was here. I was so scared to go under anesthesia; I had a panic attack before they gave me the IV. I know, pathetic. I made my poor husband sing to me when I got out of surgery. Don't ask me why, because I have no idea! He's not a singer, he's a hockey player! So he sung to me songs that any hockey player, from NJ, would sing to his wife after surgery...BON JOVI - Wanted Dead or Alive! Probably not the most appropriate song for the moment, but it was such a sweet sound hearing him whisper/sing into my ear as he fed me shortbread cookies. :) I was also hugging everyone in site, but I don't remember that part. We had the highest egg retrieval of the day, 22 eggs! 5 days later, we had 8 embryos ready to transfer. We transferred 2 and froze the remaining 6 embryos. I had a positive pregnancy test 10 days later but was warned that my HcG levels were really low and that this could or could not be a viable pregnancy. By day 20, I was not pregnant any longer. Weird thing about Invitro, you don't actually 'miscarry' like you do with a regular pregnancy, the body just absorbs the embryos and they are gone. It's almost like none of it ever happened and that it such a strange feeling. I still felt the loss like a ton of bricks and I also started to feel myself slipping into a depression.

November 2008- I had another transfer coming up so the shots, pills and crack of dawn bloodwork appointments started all over again. This time we had 3 embryos transferred, but we never even got a positive pregnancy test on this one. Again, devastating. The doctor told us that the losses had to be from a genetic disorder with the embryos. We just couldn't believe it because it made no sense. There was no genetic problem with either of us so why would this be happening? We truly felt like it was the blood clotting disorder. We began to research more about MTHFR and it's effect on early pregnancy. We also knew that we couldn't just accept this 'genetic problem' as the reason for all of our losses and just move on. We had to have a definitive answer before we could close this chapter in our lives. We wanted the last 3 frozen embryos to be PGD tested to see if they had genetic issues. The doctor told us that he would need more than 3 embryos to do this testing. It costs the same amount to do 3 as it would to do 300. He suggested that we do 1 more Invitro retrieval so that the odds of finding a good embryo would be greater. We agreed and once again the shots, meds and early morning appointments began. It's been 3 months of this and I can't eve explain in words how exhausted I was! Ant and I were dealing with these losses in different ways but dealing, nonetheless. I was getting more and more depressed. Thanksgiving was coming and I didn't want to see my family or anyone, for that matter. I began going to counseling to try and work my way out of the hole I was in.
I was just going through the motions, expecting bad news from the PGD testing and praying about other options. It was a very difficult month for me, probably the worst out of the entire 2 years.

December 2008 - Lucky us! The lab is closed through the holiday and it just so happens that my retrieval would be during that time...SO, I had to stop the meds just to start all over again in January. :(
OK, seriously, how much more of this can I take.

January 2009 - Well, It's a new year and our motto has been 'We hate 2008' so we are confident that God is not going to put us through another year like 2008! We are optimistic, we are encouraged and we are thinking of the option of adoption. I've always said that I would adopt from the Liberty GodParent Home later in life, I just thought it would be in addition to my family and not in place of my own family. But we're realizing that maybe that is the plan God has for Anthony and I and maybe that's why we have struggled with our pregnancies. We are still going through with the Invitro so that we can close this book and move on to the next book in our lives, but the option of adoption has us excited and optimistic!

We filled out all of the adoption paperwork and we were approved as adoptive parents very quickly! That was such an uplifting letter to get in the mail! We were scheduled to go to the training class in Lynchburg in March. We were so excited! The egg retrieval date was Jan. 27th and it literally had become an afterthought in my mind; just something I had to do so that I could move on without questions down the road. We were so looking forward to the adoption process, but had no idea what the Lord had in store for us.

March 2009 - Literally 3 days before we were to leave for our training class in VA, our doctor calls. He had news about our PGD testing...2 of the embryos were totally normal and healthy and he thought there may be 2 more but he needed to re-run 4 panels to be sure. Talk about a SHOCKER! We didn't expect that news at all! "OK God, what are you telling us? You made the adoption process so easy and we have such peace about it, are you telling us that our path is our own children? How? What about the blood clotting disorder?" We had a big decision to make and only 3 days to make it in...

April 2009 - After much prayer and discussion with the LGH personnel, we decided that financially it would be best to put the adoption on hold until we were able to complete this last bit of fertility procedures. LGH was awesome in helping us come to this decision and we were told that we can come back when we are ready and just pick up where we left off. So cool.

We had been praying about what to do with our 2 precious embryos and had also done some research on how I could carry them with the MTHFR issue I was dealing with. We found out that there is a drug out there (injection, of coarse) that I would have to take every day of the pregnancy in order to carry. When we asked our doctor about this drug, he told us that he stopped prescribing it and felt that the side effects were too dangerous so he refused to give it to any of his patients. What are the side effects, you might ask...DEATH. Ok, seriously?!?! Yes, seriously, women have died on this drug trying to thin their blood enough to carry their pregnancy to term. I've already almost died to be pregnancy, we didn't want to risk that again. No one felt comfortable with the option of my taking this injectable drug for 9 months, including me, so we started asking God for the alternative. Surrogacy. We were immediately comfortable with it and decided to start researching it and learning about how it works. Really, some other woman was going to be giving birth to our babies?

In the process of getting our heads around the surrogacy concept, our doctor called us with the results of the 4 're-run' panels on the embryos. 2 more! We have a total of 4 embryos frozen and ready for transfer. God is so amazing!!!! We also found out that the 4 are 2 boys and 2 girls! How precious!!! I am just so happy that God allowed us to create our own babies and that there are no genetic disorders. Just enjoying this happy moment while I can!

I started back to work on April 1st. I'd been on leave for 7 months due to all of the surgeries, transfers and pregnancies. It was good to get back and see all of my collegues again, but I was joyfully focused on God's answer to our prayers...'how will we bring these little bundles to life?' We were anxiously awaiting His response.

Transfer Day

2009-09-01T20:49:00.001-07:00

FROM JINEEN: Transfer day! So hard to believe it's already here! Got up at 6:15 to go to the clinic for bloodwork and ultrasound...same thing I've been doing in Nashville the past few weeks. They looked and said everything looked really good! We were reminded by Bette (our counselor) that this was the fastest she thought anyone had gone through this process! Thank you God!
We got the phone call around 11:30 that the embryos had been thawed and they both survived. (Not always the case)....the tears began! Such excitement that this was really happening! The four of us sat together and held hands praying before we left. God is so good and so real!
We arrived at 1:15 and I forgot I had to sit in the waiting room with a full bladder...turned out we sat for like and hour and a half! Needless to say I was dying! When they finally called us back we got suited up in our scrubs and Shane and I got settled and then Myla and Anthony followed. Myla and I held hands crying while the transfer was done...it was so fast and all went so smooth. I can't explain the presence of the Holy Spirit in that moment, but it was very evident and God was so near! Unbelievable! Praise you Lord for an amazing miraculous moment that could only be done and ordained by God! Transfer was done and we were speechless!
I just kept thinking...really? These little babies are in me? Wow! Amazing!
Now the waiting game begins... we will wait patiently-well try and wait patiently for next Thursday when we find out if I am pregnant! It's going to be a long week I think!
After transfer, we went and had a celebratory dinner and went back to the house to rest. It's a good sign already...I'm having pregnancy symptoms: gas and sleepiness! Yes!!
More to come...thanks for all of your prayers today! They were felt and very much appreciated!

Day Before Transfer

2009-08-31T07:28:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: Today is the day before transfer...I'm packing and getting ready to fly out to JFK. So excited and anxious(in a good way) to see what God has in store! Myla and I will be blogging together while we are there and trying to do some video journaling. Thanks for following our journey...so much more to come! I will keep you posted! Still hoping to get this documented so people can really follow our story and all the "God details". More later...

My Wife's Having Another Man's Baby?

2009-08-28T14:47:00.000-07:00

FROM SHANE:
So, I typically have the ability to see the humor in just about everything. In fact, oftentimes I find it necessary to bite my tongue in order to prohibit the inappropriate or ill-timed comment that is in my head from making its way into the realm of the audible. However, this experience of surrogacy has somewhat stifled my natural leaning to lighten the mood with laughter. To be honest, I am just overwhelmed that God has seen fit to write this chapter into our stories.

From the instant Jineen sent Myla that initial Facebook message, I have felt nothing but peace, amazement and awe. I'm in awe that God would consider us worthy. I'm in awe of my wife and the inexpressible gift of love she is bestowing. I'm in awe that I am so freakin' amazing at administering injections. I'm in awe of the gracious friends that we have the privilege of serving. I'm in awe of the beautiful family God is creating in Anthony, Myla and this miracle baby(ies).

My point in posting this was to give you my perspective. I hope I have accomplished this goal. Now, a couple thoughts on the experience so far:

+Your wife's menstrual cycle being manipulated and controlled by outside hormones sucks for both of you!
+Administering progesterone to your wife's posterior is a heck of a turn-on... but again, it's a hormone you're injecting... and not the good kind like you had in junior high... just face it - you ain't gettin' any.
+I really suck at remembering in the heat of the moment that my wife can't control the verbal lashing she's giving me.
+I also really suck at being intentional about understanding, empathizing, encouraging, etc.
+I'm really good at doing things around the house so she doesn't have to... but it's not her love language so.................

All joking aside, my wife is amazing. I am so proud of her. She's been getting shots every day for the last 3-4 weeks. She's had her blood drawn twice a week for about 3 weeks. She's already gearing up for the after-birth workout regimen... all for a friend! I can't say it enough... I'M AMAZED!!!

Progesterone Shots

2009-08-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: So Shane gave me my first progesterone shot last night. Piece of cake! I numbed it with Lydocaine an hr. before and seriously it felt like a little tap...that was it! We were both nervous and it was nothing-whew! So relieved! Today I don't feel any different just still tired and achy from some of the drugs.
This is funny...I feel like since I've been on some of the drugs I can't remember anything-already the pregnant brain I guess. So I've lost track of which day is which but I was convinced today was the 29th...which is my brother in laws birthday. I texted him happy birthday and he said thanks its tomorrow! Whoops...one of the side effects from my meds...oh well....at least he knows he was thought of-just a day early:)
Anyways...hopefully soon Shane will post something on here from his perspective and Myla and Anthony too....we are hoping to post some together next week when we are together for the transfer! Can't wait!

Meds

2009-08-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN: So I've been taking drugs for this whole transfer preparation...Today I will begin a few more drugs and start my progesterone shots tonight...Big needle, shot in the butt, by my husband....enough said! I better make sure to not start a fight while all this is going on:) Actually he's done great. He already had been giving me shots in my belly. His new calling is to be a nurse-ha! Anyways...I haven't written much recently...life is crazy with 3 children and all of this going on. I'm super excited about the transfer which is only 5 days away! Hard to believe how fast this whole process has been! The devil has been trying to scare me a little but God has so divinely made it clear that this is supposed to be happening...even the little details like Myla and I just "happen" to have the same blood type-C'mon! So cool! Makes everything easier! We keep saying ...it's another "sign". God continues to show up and reveal his power!
The nurse said the other day...this is the fastest I've seen anyone respond to the meds...once again God reveals Himself! God really is So Amazing! He continues to blow me away! I am loving it!

The Story Continues

2009-08-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

FROM JINEEN:
So....Myla and I began the process. Two days after that conversation on facebook, I called and got hospital records sent. God moved quickly because all of my hospital records and Dr. records came within two weeks.( Hard to believe when each of my 3 kids had been born in 3 different hospitals in 3 different states.) God is good and was definitely continuing to keep this door open. We were and continue to be so excited! The next thing was getting in to see my Dr. for a physical approving me to be pregnant. I was able to get in like a week after talking with Myla so that was amazing. The other blessing was that my obgyn was totally for this and has had people in her office do this same thing. God continued to bless! After that I started birth control to prepare my body for this process and then last weekend we went to NJ and had a saline sonogram and did all our bloodwork and testing to approve us for this whole thing. Everything was great and we had a blast with Myla and Anthony. We were approved and they said it was the fastest approval they think they've ever had. God was working again!
Last Thursday I began my Lupron shots and will continue with those and more before we actually do the transfer. I continue to be so excited for what God is doing and how He continues to bless this whole situation!

How It All Began

2009-08-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

So the story is...Myla and I met in 1993 when I was a freshman in college at Liberty University and working in a ministry office called LIGHT. Myla was a singer and I a freshman worker. I left Liberty for a semester and came back and joined the singing team that she was on. There began our friendship. We traveled around the country and overseas to Brazil. We had so much fun!
Since those days, I have followed Myla's struggle to have children. I have 3 children and got pregnant 6 months after getting married. When I wanted to get pregnant, I got pregnant. Not the same for Myla. She and I have lived two different lives. She struggling to create a child and me already raising the three that God has given me.
God has chosen to bring us together again for one purpose and we are so excited!
I was so happy for her when I heard she had a surrogate and would have her baby/ies in January. June 13, 2009 came and my husband and I were celebrating our 11th anniversary. I layed down to go to bed and was checking facebook on my phone before going to sleep. I read Myla's lastest post and it said that their surrogate fell through and it wasn't going to work out. I randomly responded saying, "Am I too old to do that? I think that would be amazing." I thought for some reason I had to be in my 20's-maybe if it were my egg, but this baby/ies were already in existence-frozen waiting for a home to grow in.